It's that time again.

No, not turkey, not tinsel, not door-buster deals or wrapping paper. (Oh my!) It's time again for "The War on Christmas."

The American Family Association (AFA) - "one of the largest and most effective pro-family organizations" according to, well, themselves - is boycotting the popular retailer Gap for its latest television ad, which, while mentioning Christmas, has the gall to name drop Hannukah, Kwanzaa and Solstice.

The ad features denim-and-flannel-clad twenty-somethings happily dancing in a white, pseudo-log cabin, bobbing their toboggan-covered heads and singing. While executing synchronized dance moves, they belt out: "Go Christmas! Go Hannukah! Go Kwanzaa! Go Solstice!" followed by the either impressive or lame rhyme of, "+Happy do whatever you wannukkah and to all a cheery night!"

In case you missed the clear shot at Baby Jesus, I'll let the AFA explain it: "Did you notice it? Gap compares Christmas to the pagan holiday called "Solstice." Solstice is celebrated by Wiccans who practice witch-craft!"

"Sharon in Minnesota" wrote this on the Fox Nation article about the boycott over the television ad: "I refuse to spend my money in ANY store that does not say Merry Christmas."

You know, cause that's what Jesus said to do.

Do you think Jesus really cares whether Gap mentions solstice in its television ads? What with children dying of starvation and lack of clean water, violence and war, extreme poverty, and the like? I hesitate to say I know the divine pecking order of concerns, but I'm willing to guess I'm on the right track. (The Bible mentions "poverty" over 2,000 times. The word "Christmas" is never mentioned, though the story is obviously well-represented.)

Beyond that, the Gap ad is entertaining. The song is catchy without being insufferable (I'm looking at you, $5 footlong song) and the dancing is mesmerizing and complex enough that I feel like I see a new move every time I see it (which is often since it's apparently running every commercial break). In fact, the ad is one of few that I actually stop fast forwarding to watch when using the DVR. There is really nothing to get worked up about.

The AFA, however, writes (apparently without a trace of irony) that "Christmas is not just a winter holiday focused on materialism, but a 'holy day' when we celebrate the birth of our Savior."

If it's not about materialism, then why do you have an entire site dedicated to which stores (where you buy material things) say "Merry Christmas"? If it's not about materialism like you say, why do you care?

Do they also boycott Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, since he was created for advertisements for Montgomery Ward department stores, aka materialism? (Don't believe me? Google it. I'll wait.) And as for the fervor over solstice, let's not get into the whole Christmas-is-on-Dec. 25-not-because-it-was-really-Jesus'-birthday-but-because-it-was-an-adopted-pagan-holiday thing.

Instead, to help culture warriors keep Christ in Christmas, the AFA site has a helpful list of "Naughty and Nice" retailers. (Also on the irony front, they realize that "naughty and nice lists" are clearly the domain of Santa, not the Savior, right?) Among the companies "against 'Christmas'" are the non-surprising, like Victoria's Secret, and the unexpected, like Staples and Office Depot. (I had no idea office supplies were so godless.)

I hate to break it to the AFA but even though Christianity is the dominant religion in America (followed closely by the NFL), plenty of people of plenty of other faiths will go out for the big deals this morning. Black Friday sales appeal to Wiccans, Jews, Buddhists, Muslims, atheists and Christians alike. If Christians want to wish other Christians Merry Christmas, that's great (I know I will). But you can't force everyone who works in retail to do it.

What if the cashier at Best Buy is Jewish, should she be forced to wish me a Merry Christmas?

And if the cashier at Best Buy is Christian, should she be forced to wish my Buddhist friend a Merry Christmas?

Expecting every store to wish you a "Merry Christmas" is not only irrational, it's un-American. This country was founded on religious tolerance. If it's been a while since your high school history class, it's worth remembering that the pilgrims were seeking asylum from oppressive Christian religion. The goal was to avoid theocracy, in which everybody has to do what the state religion says (you know, like say "Merry Christmas").

And from a business standpoint, it would be foolish for a national company to cater to one demographic - even if it is Christians, who make up just under 80 percent of the country (according to the CIA World Factbook). Of course, the country is almost exactly 80 percent white and nobody is saying that advertising to anyone other than white people is wrong. (Well, other than Abercrombie & Fitch.)

At the heart of the matter, the "War on Christmas" is absurd victim-itis, a need to be "persecuted" even though, as I mentioned already, 8 in 10 people in the country agree with them. If American Christians want to learn about persecution, they could do well to visit their fellow believers in some tougher corners of the globe.

On a plus note, the AFA is suspending the boycott of Gap pending a new "Christmas-themed" commercial expected to debut tomorrow.

So I know Thanksgiving was yesterday, but this Black Friday I'm thankful for Christians who are more worried about children starving in Guatemala and less about the lyrics in a television ad for an over-rated clothing retailer.

If you'd like to join the boycott of the Bible because it doesn't mention the word "Christmas," Brandon Szuminsky can be reached at bszuminsky@heraldstandard.com.