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A small but comforting gesture

By Frances Borsodi Zajac fzajac@heraldstandard.Com 3 min read

Our youngest daughter, Sarah, was just a few weeks into her first semester at Penn State University this fall when she became sick.

She called home, asking for advice on how to take care of herself. She didn’t feel well. The school’s health clinic was closed. Big sister Rachel was on campus, and she eventually took Sarah to a doctor the next day. But, that night, Sarah was miserable and hours away from home where – at that moment – she would have rather been. She needed a little comforting. Quite frankly, I did, too.

So I lit a candle.

Lighting candles is a ritual that many people practice. I lit the candle for Sarah at church the next day after Sunday morning Mass. In fact, I lit candles for all our daughters and others dear to me as well. The votive candles are small but I think they’re very powerful. Light a candle and say a prayer. It’s amazing how much comfort that can mean to me and others I know. If people are going through difficult times and I tell them I lit a candle for them, they usually thank me. I think they understand the meaning and they are grateful.

I know I am if someone does the same for me.

I love the glow of candles and usually keep one lit at home at night – especially in late autumn and winter when nights are cold and become dark early. Who doesn’t like candles on a birthday cake or on the table for a special dinner? And even bright stars in a dark sky seem to convey that same message that we are not alone.

Lighting candles as a remembrance is used publicly at vigils, a sign of support for those who are going through adversity and reverence for those who have died. As we gather together in the light, we comfort one another.

But the place I am mostly like to light candles for others is at church. Church is where we bring our hopes, our troubles. Church is where we get the inspiration to become a better person and where we share a community with fellow believers.

I think I like lighting candles at church because I feel there is respect for my prayer. Others understand and are doing the same. I look at the bank of candles and feel the love that people have for each other. It’s a selfless act of caring.

It might be a small gesture. But in this holiday season when so many people are taking time for small gestures – making donations to charity, inviting someone who is alone to dinner or sending greetings through the mail to family, friends and servicemen and servicewomen who are away from home – they really can make a difference.

And if lighting a candle does nothing more than show a person that someone cares, I think it’s worthwhile.

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