Hand-picked from heaven: Uniontown couple remembers loss as they embrace new life
Walking into Bill and Nicole Dice’s home, it’s hard to miss the large brown couch and vivid red curtains. Two years ago, the couple sat on the couch with empty arms and tears of grief.
“Last time, we had to leave. We left with empty arms,” Nicole said, recalling the difficult days following the birth of Daniel John on Nov. 6, 2015.
After 89 minutes in the company of his loving parents, little Daniel succumbed to a fatal form of dwarfism.
Though they still grieve the loss of their first born, the couple is now embracing the love and life of William Emmanuel Dice, born two months ago.
“It was surreal. This time, we left with this beautiful little child,” Nicole said, happy tears pooling in her eyes.
A common theme among those who have met the boy is how perfect he is, according to the couple.
“Bill’s aunt had a thought that he’s so perfect because Daniel hand-picked him for us,” she added.
On a sunny June afternoon, the couple took turns holding the calm infant, nicknamed Manny, often gazing at his closed eyes, his head of sandy hair and tiny clenched hands.
“We’re truly blessed to have him. We’re very excited — even when he’s up at 4 a.m.,” Bill said with a laugh. “That’s my son.”
HEALING
“There is no cookie cutter way to say what you should or shouldn’t do to heal. How you need to heal is the right way,” Nicole said.
For her, the healing process included a trip to Medjugorje, a town that borders Croatia. It is widely known as a place for apparitions of the Virgin Mary to appear, and a popular site for Catholic pilgrimages.
For 10 days, Nicole spent time in prayer and worship while looking for spiritual healing. With a full heart, Nicole returned home knowing that she had been shown signs, including an unexplained image of a rainbow, which she hoped would one day mean a rainbow baby.
In Uniontown, Bill and Nicole delved into making a nonprofit in Daniel’s memory, Loving Daniel. They also made it their mission to order and place CuddleCots in area hospitals, which keep the babies cool after their passing.
On their nonprofit’s website, the couple writes: “When your baby passes, the time in the hospital is the only time you have to make memories and hold them. Once you leave the hospital, your baby won’t be going home with you, so that short time is very important.”
Last year, the Dices donated their first CuddleCot, which is manufactured in the United Kingdom, to the Uniontown Hospital’s Family Beginnings Birthing Center (FBBC).
Since then, three others were placed — one at St. Clair Hospital, which was the first in the Pittsburgh area, and another in Ruby, which was the first in the northern part of West Virginia. A third one was placed in the Washington Hospital two months ago.
As for the Dices, they were able to stay with Daniel for four days.
“This is the path we needed, but it’s not the path everyone takes. Others might just want or need four hours. Some might not want any time,” Nicole said. “Everyone has their own grief journey — do what you feel you need to.”
From one parent to another, Nicole said the best advice she could offer is to never take anything for granted.
“Take in every moment. Make sure they feel your love every single day,” she said as she gazed at her husband holding Manny.
RAINBOW BABY
As a rainbow is often a promise of sunnier, better times following a storm or rain shower, a rainbow baby is the promise of life after infant loss.
Manny became the Dice’s rainbow baby on May 23, 2017. He is a cuddler and loves his father, according to Nicole.
“His whole personality is so full of love,” she said.
“This is a joyous time. If I had to sum it up with one word, that would be it — joyous,” Bill said.
Nicole’s pregnancy was one of nerves and nagging fears, especially before the 20-week point. It was at 20 weeks that they discovered Daniel’s diagnosis.
“We did the best we could to enjoy the pregnancy, but there was always that fear and nagging thought. Most of our heightened emotions were up to that point,” she said.
It was their faith and prayer life that sustained them through the tough moments and days, they said.
“Faith was always a big part of our story. Everyone carries their crosses and faces battles in life. We have faith in God and a higher purpose to get you through that,” she said.
The couple spent time lamenting over Daniel. They cried over dreams that wouldn’t come to fruition and memories that wouldn’t be made.
“But we realized we were looking at it all wrong. If we never had Daniel in our lives, we would never be able to do the things we’re doing now for other families,” Nicole said. “We would have never started a nonprofit, never been able to help other grieving families.”
“His life had so much more purpose than we ever could have imagined,” Nicole said. “Yes, every parent wants a healthy baby. But we see so much good that’s come out of Daniel’s life. It’s the work that God wanted us to do.”
Bill added that Daniel’s passing has impacted people “way more than he might have if he was still alive.”
“We look at our lives, and we haven’t impacted the amount of people he has, and he only lived for 89 minutes,” she said.