Following my weekly Wal-Mart adventure, I rounded up my children and prepared to depart from the magic land of the rough and tough and extra stuff.

Preteen + preteen + peacemaker AKA tattletale + one year old = it’s spring but if we dare open our windows someone may call the law. And I might need them to.

Beauty and the Beast has been my personal favorite Disney story for many years now. If you know my husband, it’s easy to see why I identify. Kidding! Ok, maybe just a little truth there.

Her pom-poms are perfectly placed. Her bow is beautiful in her brand new beauty salon hair. Her uniform turns her into a magazine-ready midget model and she smiles sweetly every time the camera captures her.

Yesterday I embarked on a long overdue and largely avoided obligation.

One hour. That is how much screen time my kids are afforded per day.

We were at a backyard party. Daddy was playing in the band. The host had roasted a pig. It was the highlight of my five year-old summer. Maybe I was six. I don’t know exactly. But I do know what color mom’s shorts were. I remember her face as she began to cry in front of the whole company of party-goers.

I wish the church knew what it felt like to walk into a bar.

Quiet. It is just after one in the afternoon and only the sound of a ticking clock is heard in my home. Quiet here is rare, but three kids are at camp and one is sleeping.

Upon entering the store I say, “Wow, look at that flower! It is crazy!” My oldest daughter immediately replies, “Yeah, I should probably buy it for you because it matches your personality.” I laugh. Upon exiting the store my second youngest daughter asks, “Where does the water go when you flush the toilet?” I laugh. Then, I think. What if either of those statements had been a text?

Did I condition my hair ? Where’s the vanilla extract? I’m late. Do my children have socks on? Did I even eat anything today? There’s no way my blood pressure is as high as the doctor said. Take blood pressure myself. Really?! Why is my blood pressure so high?