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The Family Table: Stop cooking and laugh

3 min read

With Christmas only one day away, I figured everyone who is cooking the big meal (like me!) has their menu settled. So in lieu of a recipe, I figured I’d give you something even more valuable during what can be stressful holiday times: a laugh.

‘Twas Christmas Eve night and all through our home

“Who will wrap all these presents?” I asked with a moan.

The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,

Unstuffed as of yet, their insides were bare.

Since the Friday before, the children hadn’t had school,

And each was quite hyper, as if they’d all snuck Red Bulls.

And me in my apron and Mike in his cap

Were trying really hard not to lose it and snap.

When from our living room there arose such a clatter

That we rushed in to see just what was the matter.

Around the corner I flew like a flash

Tree on the floor, ornaments smashed.

The moon through the window glimmered and gleamed

As I wondered what happened, fretted and steamed.

When what to my wide, angry eyes did appear:

A dog and two cats, cowering in fear.

They ran from the room, lively and quick

This can’t be happening, I’m going to be sick.

More rapid than cheetahs from the room they ran,

Knowing they’d screwed up my perfect Christmas plan.

“Now Cooper, Now Lilly, Now Bella too,

Now Gabe, Wes and Josie to bed with all of you!

To the top of the steps, and down the hall,

I’m at my wits end, go to bed all!”

As dry leaves, under my feet I felt an ornament crunch

Then: searing pain. I might lose my lunch.

So quickly over to the couch I hobbled

A bandage for my foot was cobbled.

And then in a twinkling I heard very meekly,

“We can’t go to bed. We’re really not sleepy.”

I drew in my head and was turning around,

Looked up the stairs without even one sound.

And there were two cats, one dog and three kids

A glance and I saw all had heavy eyelids.

Their little mouths each drawn up like a bow,

And I knew sleep would come if to bed they would go

So we hustled upstairs, tucking each in

We can do this, we got this, they’re kids, we can win!

We cleaned up the mess, righted the tree,

Waited for snores, and to the basement we creeped.

Gifts were laid out by 2 a.m., everything looked just fine

We sat down and toasted with a nice glass of wine.

And I heard someone exclaim as we walked up to bed,

“Can we get up now? Has Santa come yet?”

Jennifer Harr is the Herald-Standard’s news editor. Contact her at jharr@heraldstandard.com or follow her on Twitter @HSJenHarr.

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