‘Empty Chair’ service helps families cope with loss
WAYNESBURG – For many people, the Christmas season can be a time of sadness and heartbreak as they struggle to cope with the loss of someone they love, and with the empty chair at their table.
To help local residents honor the memories of departed loved ones who are missed so dearly, especially around Christmas. a special memorial service was held earlier this week. The service, titled “The Empty Chair: A Time of Remembrance,” was held Monday at the First Christian Church in Waynesburg, and was organized by GriefSHARE, a victim support group coordinated through the Greene County District Attorney’s office.
A total of 82 people attended the non-denominational memorial service, which was officiated by Mike Hasselbring, host minister, and Rev. Dr. Donald P. Wilson. The service included inspirational messages and songs, the lighting of memorial candles and the decorating of a Christmas tree with Memory Stars, which featured names of loved ones who passed away as a result of violent deaths, illness, accidental death and natural causes.
Attendees were also able to post pictures of their departed loved ones on a “Remembrance Board” that were displayed in the sanctuary. And to emphasize the theme of “The Empty Chair,” a chair and table were displayed during the service.
The service featured musical performances from Lisa and Frank Pazzynski and the Waynesburg University Lamplighters choir.
Hasselbring delivered a message, in which he talked about the importance of holding onto the memories of deceased loved ones.
“We remember and cherish those memories that bring to joy to our hearts,” he said. “We always wish that we could have one more memory with them…One more Thanksgiving, one more Christmas. I think if we could say one more thing to our loved ones, we would all say two words: ‘Thank you.’ Thank you for the joy that you brought to our world.”
Following the service, there was time of fellowship, in which people were invited to talk about their loved ones and share stories and photographs. Resources and information were also available to help those coping with the loss of a loved one.
This marked the eighth consecutive year that the service was held in Greene County. Cherie Rumskey, Greene County Victim Witness Coordinator, said in a previous interview that the idea for the unique service came in the mid-2000’s during brainstorming sessions with the victim support group.
“Everyone in the group agreed that there are many challenges for people to celebrate the holidays when a loved one has passed away,” she said. “Many of them said that the most difficult thing to deal with during the holidays was looking at an empty chair and realizing that someone they loved was no longer with them. This service has been — and continues to be — an effective and appropriate way to help people remember their loved ones.”
Also participating in the service were Sandy Seybold of Waynesburg and Carol Furmanek of West Finley. The services are special for Seybold and Furmanek, both who have lost their children and who are affiliated with GriefSHARE.
Sandy Seybold’s son, Chad Allen Seybold, was killed as a result of a one-vehicle accident in Franklin Township on Nov. 18, 2004.
Following her son’s death, Seybold became involved with the victim support group and has been very active in putting together the annual Empty Chair service.
Carol Furmanek’s daughter, Rhonda Furmanek Patterson, was killed as a result of domestic violence on Dec. 1, 1994. In the years that followed, Carol Furmanek has actively served as an advocate for domestic violence victims at numerous forums and events and continues to be involved with GriefSHARE.
Rhonda Furmanek Patterson’s daughter, Kim Furmanek, also participated in the service, reading the names of honored loved ones whose Memory Stars were placed on the tree.
Rumskey said she was pleased with the overall turnout for the service, and she is looking forward to the service returning next December.
“There were a lot of familiar faces at the service, which tells me that people want to see this continue each year,” she said. “The feedback we receive is a huge testament to how special this service truly is. The fact that it continues to grow each year really motivates us.”
Rumskey stressed that the service is an uplifting and healing experience
“It feels good knowing that people are comforted by the service, and that many of them see it as an annual holiday tradition,” she said. “And the fellowship afterward always has a very emotional atmosphere. Watching them share their stories, their laughter and tears, their memories and pictures, and connecting with other people who have also experienced loss, it is obvious that they know they were not alone in their loss. That is really what makes this service so special.”