More memories of Dad
I wanted to start this column by saying two simple, yet very meaningful, words.
Thank you.
Those words are to the many kind folks who have offered their hearfelt sympathies to me and my family since my father’s passing last month. The cards and letters, the flowers, the phone calls and emails, the Facebook messages, the visits to our homes and the conversations on the streets, all from the many wonderful people who gave their thoughts, well-wishes, concerns and prayers to us during this difficult time were very much appreciated, will always be cherished and will never be forgotten.
Each and every one of these acts of kindness truly helped us find some comfort, some much-needed light in a very dark time, and they mean more to us than anyone could possibly imagine.
Recently, on what would have been my dad’s 78th birthday, I spent a great deal of time reflecting on a couple of very special memories of him. I thought I wrote everything I could think of when I dedicated my column to him a few weeks ago, but a couple of other thoughts crossed my mind since then, and I thought it would make me feel better to share them here.
The memories I am referring all have to do with how much of a fighter he was and how much he loved his family. I remember when Dad was really sick last May, and he lapsed into a coma for several weeks. We were told by doctors that he was most likely wasn’t going to make it, and if did by some miracle survive, he wasn’t going to come out of the coma. And if he did miraculously come out of the coma, he wasn’t going to have much brain function.
Things looked really hopeless. But as he and my Mom always used to say, with God there is always hope. I will never forget on June 3, one day after my birthday, he regained consciousness and began talking again. And during that day, he called me over to his bed and whispered to me, “I am so sorry that I ruined your birthday.” And as I wiped away my tears, I told him that he had just given me the best birthday gift a son could have ever asked for.
I will also never forget the time a couple of days later, when he called me and my wife – who was six months pregnant at the time – to his bedside. He placed his hands on Crystal’s belly and smiled, and said, “I want you to know that I talked with God while I was asleep and I told him that whenever He was ready to take me home, I would go willingly. But then I said to Him, if you could, please give me a little more time so I can see my grandchild be born.”
And you know what? God listened. Because Dad got to see his grandson be born. And though he was very ill, he got to meet Bryson, and talk to him, and hold him and tell him how much he loved him.
And the last week before he passed, Dad got to give us more wonderful memories. Just before Christmas, he was able to celebrate his 54th wedding anniversary with Mom. And on Christmas day, with his whole family at his side, he was able to celebrate one more Christmas with his loved ones, and spend time with his children and grandchildren.
And just when I thought the day could not be more more special, my parents presented me and my wife with a precious gift. It was beautiful book for Bryson featuring the classic story “Twas The Night Before Christmas,” complete with beautiful illustrations. But what made the book so special was that it was an audiobook, one where you can record your voice reading the words on each page. And then we learned that on Christmas eve, Dad – who was very ill and weak and could barely speak – recorded his voice reading the verses of the story, with all of his strength and might. And on the very last page, he left a personal message to Bryson, in which he told him how much he loved him, and how sorry he was that he had to leave, but he would always be in Bryson’s heart.
There are Christmas gifts that cost hundreds or thousands of dollars, and there are gifts that are just simply priceless. This book is one of those gifts. Because we know that every Christmas, we will celebrate a very special tradition, in which we will put Bryson on our laps and let him listen to Grandpa tell him a Christmas story. We have already played it for him several times, and every time he hears Grandpa’s voice he smiles and his face lights up. Dad was right…he is always with Bryson, and he always will be.
It is memories like these that will help us to find comfort, warmth and peace during our times of sadness.
And what really makes my heart glad is that I know my other family members have their own personal memories of Dad that are just as special in their hearts as mine are to me.
So, again, thank you to all of you who expressed their sympathies to us, and who allowed us to share these and many other wonderful memories with you, and who shared your own personal memories of Dad with us. We believe in our hearts that he is in a much better place now, and we hope to be reunited with him again someday.
But for now, we will take comfort in doing whatver we can to keep his many wonderful memories alive.