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Service to help families cope with ‘Empty Chair’

By Olivia Latimer for The 5 min read
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A special memorial service called “The Empty Chair: A Time of Remembrance” will be held Monday, Dec. 15 at 7 p.m. at the First Church of the Nazarene in Waynesburg. The service has been held for the past eight years to help local residents honor the memories of departed loved ones who are missed so dearly, especially around Christmas. Sandy Seybold, one of the service’s organizers, will once again be making hand-crafted angel ornaments made of ribbons for those who attend to take home for their own tree as a reminder of their loved ones.

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A special memorial service called “The Empty Chair: A Time of Remembrance” will be held Monday, Dec. 14 at 7 p.m. at the First Christian Church in Waynesburg. The service has been held for the past nine years to help local residents honor the memories of departed loved ones who are missed so dearly, especially around Christmas. Sandy Seybold, one of the service’s organizers, will once again be making hand-crafted angel ornaments made of ribbons for those who attend to take home for their own tree as a reminder of their loved ones.

WAYNESBURG — The holidays are what most people consider to be the most wonderful time of the year.

However, what too many people don’t notice are the people around them struggling with the loss that is even more pronounced during the season of cheer.

Each year, GriefShare – a victim support group coordinated through the Greene County District Attorney’s office – hosts a special program entitled “The Empty Chair: A Time of Remembrance” as an outlet for those who wish to honor and share the memories of the loved ones they have lost to domestic violence, illness, natural causes or homicide.

The ninth annual event will be held Monday, Dec. 15 at 7 p.m. in the First Church of the Nazarene, located at 115 Deerfield Lane in Waynesburg.

According to Cherie Rumskey, coordinator of the Greene County victim/witness program, it has been a goal of the event planners to hold the program at a different church each year, and they have been mostly successful thus far.

This year’s event will be hosted by Rev. Dr. Donald P. Wilson, who has been a part of the program from the beginning, and Rev. John Mark Poling, pastor of the First Church of the Nazarene.

“Reverend Wilson comes with us every year and he is just truly amazing,” Rumskey said. “In addition, it’s traditionally another responsibility of the host pastor to offer a short message during the service. Just the host pastor allowing us to use their church for this program is amazing on its own.”

Rumskey said the event began with two surviving mothers of two different kinds of crimes. Sandy Seybold, whose son was killed in a DUI vehicular crash, and Carol Furmanek, whose daughter was murdered as a result of domestic violence, began a support group to help others who may be going through the same thing.

According to Rumskey, the group found through many discussions that the holidays seemed to be a time where each of them was feeling that grief and heartbreak more and more as they noticed the empty chairs around their tables when family was gathering.

“Often it seems many other people are all feeling happier around the holidays. This event gives these people a chance to be with people who may be feeling the same way,” Rumskey said. “It’s also a chance for people to realize, more than anything, that they are not alone. They get to talk about, honor, share memories about their loved ones and hear their names read out loud.”

The event in Rumskey’s opinion helps for people to deal with other people feeling the heartache of loss.

“A lot of times people don’t know how to deal with others who are grieving,” Rumskey said. “They may feel they aren’t sure if they can say that loved ones name around them. In reality, they love the opportunities to be able to talk about them.”

There is much preparation that goes into this event.

Rumskey said that more than anyone else, Seybold works almost continuously throughout the year to be able to make the program something meaningful. Each year, Seybold has handmade more than 150 ornaments to give out to attendees to take home. She comes up with a different ornament design for each program and begins production for next year almost immediately following each program. Rumskey said Seybold “blows my mind.”

Rumskey said the rest of the coordinating group gather a few months in advance to work out the rest of the details such as where the service will be held, what music and refreshments will be offered, etc.

“This year we are probably going to have the Lamplighters from Waynesburg University back to provide entertainment,” Rumskey said. “If they haven’t been with us from the beginning, they have at least been with us most of the years. Their musical offering means so much to the attendees and they always look forward to it.”

After the service, as in past years, a fellowship will be offered for attendees. This is a time where it is encouraged to go around and share the memories of loved ones and hear the stories others have to offer in honor of theirs.

“Everyone honestly just wants the chance to talk about their loved ones,” Rumskey said. “Everyone is so different but at same time we’re all the same, wishing we could have that person with us at that time. A lot of the time people just crave being able to do that and they truly know what you mean and what you are going through.”

The service, despite being held in a different church each year, is nondenominational.

“It’s really just a time for everyone to focus on the loss of loved ones and the people there, to honor and think about them,” Rumskey said. “People always think it sounds like a depressing situation but it’s not. You have to be a part of it to understand. Some tears may be shed but you see people happy and grateful for the experience to talk about loved ones in an environment where not everything is perfect, where we can just pause a moment from our busy lives and slow down to reflect and give those people the time they deserve, to honor the time they had with us and the fun memories.”

For more information about the ninth annual “Empty Chair” service, contact Rumskey at 724-852-5229.

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