Finding peace from the ‘Empty Chair’
WAYNESBURG — For many people, the Christmas season can be a time of sadness and heartbreak as they struggle to cope with the loss of someone they love, and with the empty chair at their table.
A special memorial service is held annually to help local residents honor the memories of departed loved ones who are missed so dearly, especially around Christmas. The service, titled “The Empty Chair: A Time of Remembrance,” was held Monday at St. Ann Catholic Church in Waynesburg, and was organized by GriefSHARE, a victim support group coordinated through the Greene County District Attorney’s office.
A large crowd attended the non-denominational memorial service, which was officiated by Rev. Dr. Donald P. Wilson and Father Francis Frazer.
The service included inspirational messages and songs; the lighting of memorial candles symbolizing grief, courage, memories, love and hope; and the decorating of a Christmas tree with Memory Stars, which featured names of loved ones who passed away as a result of violent deaths, illness, accidental death and natural causes.
Attendees were also able to post pictures of their departed loved ones on a “Remembrance Board” that were displayed in the sanctuary. And to emphasize the theme of “The Empty Chair,” a chair and table were displayed during the service.
Frazer delivered a message, in which he talked about the importance of holding onto the memories of deceased loved ones. He also encouraged those in attendance to “Profess our beliefs in the Communion of Saints and remember those who have passed, for their love endures.”
Wilson shared Bible passages of hope and love, and reminded attendees that “with every light you see, remember that Jesus is the light of the world.”
As the names of loved ones were read aloud, their family members, spouses and/or friends walked up to a decorated Christmas tree and placed their Memory Stars onto the tree. At the conclusion of the service, Wilson asked everyone to hold up the small artificial candles that were given to them and offered them encouragement.
“Hold your lights up high in peace, joy and reverence,” he said. “The light of your loved ones will continue. Share the love that your loved ones gave you.”
Following the emotional service, there was time of fellowship, in which people were invited to talk about their loved ones and share stories and photographs. Resources and information were also available to help those coping with the loss of a loved one.
This marked the 11th consecutive year that the service was held in Greene County. Cherie Rumskey, Greene County Victim Witness Coordinator, said in a previous interview that the idea for the unique service came in the mid-2000’s during brainstorming sessions with the victim support group.
“Everyone in the group agreed that there are many challenges for people to celebrate the holidays when a loved one has passed away,” she said. “Many of them said that the most difficult thing to deal with during the holidays was looking at an empty chair and realizing that someone they loved was no longer with them. This service has been – and continues to be – an effective and appropriate way to help people remember their loved ones.”
Assisting with the service were Greene County District Attorney Marjorie Fox, Sandy Seybold and Carol and Kimberly Furmanek.
Sandy Seybold’s son, Chad Allen Seybold, was killed as a result of a one-vehicle accident in Franklin Township on Nov. 18, 2004. Following her son’s death, Seybold became involved with the victim support group and has been very active in putting together the annual Empty Chair service. Seybold once again made hand-crafted ornaments for attendees to take home for their own tree as a reminder of their respective loved ones.
Carol Furmanek’s daughter and Kimberly Furmanek’s mother, Rhonda Furmanek Patterson, was killed as a result of domestic violence on Dec. 1, 1994. In the years that followed, Carol and Kimberly Furmanek have actively served as an advocate for domestic violence victims at numerous forums and events.
Kimberly Furmanek said everyone involved was pleased with the turnout for this year’s service, and she is happy that it is offered for those who are struggling with grief.
“It is wonderful to see people there who know that they are surrounded by a support system, that they have the opportunity to honor and remember their loved ones, and share their stories and memories with others,” she said. “It is helpful in the grieving process, and that is why I believe the service is growing every year.
“There are people who I’ve met at the services that I only see once a year, but when I see them we pick up right where we left off, like good friends,” she added. “I look forward to seeing them. It is comfort and support, and that is just one factor that makes the ‘Empty Chair’ services so special.”