Coping with state of our country like unpacking a suitcase
Let’s face it. Our bodies, minds and souls are weary. We are still in the throes of a global pandemic, leaving behind loads of trauma in various facets of our lives to unpack. We have been in a state of political unrest for some time now, and to make matters worse, discrimination of all forms continue to thrive. Most recently, yet another racially-motivated, senseless murder has occurred. I’m only 21 and a recent college graduate, and can still put together these puzzle pieces. As a nation, and as a people, we are deeply hurting. At least, those of us with a heart and a couple ounces of compassion are hurting.
The tension in our country is so thick that it can hardly be cut with the knives of love, care, empathy, and compassion. It can be done, but it is going to take more work than we might give credit to. We are all tired right now. Tired of wondering what direction the coronavirus will take. Tired of having turmoil, both internal and external, in all facets of our lives. Tired of finding out the true colors of those we once thought differently of. Tired of mourning what our lives once were, and what they are now. We are constantly feeling that fatigue that you can feel in your bones when you’re sick, or in your soul when a piece of you is missing. We are weary.
There were many directions I wanted to take this piece, but one of the most pressing matters at this moment (in my eyes) is the following: how are we coping mentally with the state of our country and world? Or, a question for some: are we even coping at all?
As we take each figurative “suitcase” with each trauma we are facing and begin to unpack it, may we be reminded of the healthy ways in which we do so. If we unzip the suitcase too fast, and it is too jam-packed, we might find that the zipper becomes stuck, or even broken. Don’t unpack your trauma too quickly or forcefully; take your time. Some “suitcases” might be so full, that the task of merely “unzipping” them can prove to be daunting.
As our suitcases become unzipped, don’t unpack alone. We might stumble upon articles in the suitcase which are unexpected, joyful, depressing, and flat-out angering. Instead of unpacking these burdens alone, find a trusted companion (such as your partner, family-member, friend, or trusted therapist) to unpack this with. Find the person that will wipe your tears, calm your fears, and sit with you in the dark as you stumble around the room to find the light that will not only highlight your suitcase, but assist in unpacking it successfully.
As each suitcase is emptied, take a moment to sit with that empty suitcase and applaud your progress with your unpacking-partner. Remember that, while this suitcase might fill again, you’ve unpacked it once before. It took work, but look where that work led you to!
Unpacking your trauma-laden “suitcase” will be messy, confusing, and every synonym you can find for “painful”. However, as you reflect on the pain, find every synonym you can for “accomplished” and “worthwhile”. Reflect on your progress. Celebrate every tiny victory you stumble upon. It may not be easy, but it will be worth it.
The method in which you unpack your suitcases will ultimately be your decision, but it is vital that you surround yourself with positive role models and coping mechanisms to see you through as you unpack, revisit, relive, reconfigure. Now, more than ever, we must care for ourselves. If you do not care for your mental wellbeing, it will wreak havoc in all other areas of your life. I only speak from experience, and out of concern for others that they do not land themselves in a pit of stress and turmoil as I once found myself in years ago.
As a current educator, aspiring therapist starting graduate studies on June 8th, and lifelong empath, I care deeply for our country and world. As I stand by and feel the suffering of others, I often feel helpless. But, if this article can help at least one soul out there yearning for peace and a sigh of relief, then I will have reached my goal.
If anything, don’t let my age discredit the validity of the content I’ve written in this article. After years of therapy, soul-searching and life experience, I feel as if my words might prove helpful to some. At least, I hope so.
May you find moments to smile and giggle in between those soul-crushing moments of unpacking. And as you unpack, may you feel the weight of the suitcases lessen, and the bricks off your shoulders start to fall off, one by one.
May God bless and keep each and everyone of you.
Emily Behm is a resident of Cardale