May 22, 2025 4 min read

Q. I think I want to take a gap year. I worked hard in high school, especially since 10th grade. My grades are great, and I got into my first-choice college. My family is happy, my teachers are proud, you know the drill. But I’m exhausted. Before you ask, no it’s not that I want to forego college. I want a degree. I even know my major (I think). I want communications with a minor in Spanish. My abula on my father’s side is from Puerto Rico and I speak with her all the time. I want to honor her, no matter where I end up. I want college, I just need a break. Am I being selfish? My dad says so. I’m the first in his family to go to college. My mom’s side has lots of college grads, but they’re no less demanding. Why can’t I take some time off? I’m just so bone tired. -18-year-old

Mary Jo’s Response: You raise an excellent argument. I can see you succeeding in your major! I love your desire to honor your abula. I am convinced you will do so no matter what you study. There are pros and cons to taking a break after high school, and you articulate your personal reasons well. Before we discuss your options, please let me validate your weariness. I’m glad you realize how you feel. Talk with your family and reassure them. You want to pursue a college education, but you need to find the energy to do so.

There are options, of course, besides a gap year. Taking time to recharge this summer is one choice and you could still start in the fall. Obvious pluses to a gap year include widening your life experiences and giving yourself time to mature a little. If planned well, the year could empower you to be even more prepared for college studies and life. On the other hand, as I’m sure your parents’ fear, a definite con is the possibility that college becomes delayed. If you have scholarships, they may not allow a pause. If you start working, one challenge is you may enjoy the workforce and not want to leave for school.

I worked during high school and the experience inspired me to go on to school, but only you know yourself well enough to know if you want a gap year to dodge more studying. Is that possible? If so, you need to be honest with yourself and your family. There are many ways to lead a successful life without attending college.

Since I am decades from this type of decision, I connected with two of our peer education alumni, each of whom made opposite choices to your dilemma. Good luck. May all good things come to you.

Peer Education Alumnus 1: I considered taking a gap year and I’m so pleased I did not take one. One of my friends did, and, when she joined me in college, she never seemed to get into the flow. She left after a semester. For me, my rationale for taking a gap year was more anxiety than anything else. I was genuinely afraid I was too tired to tackle college. I soon found that I could pace myself in college. I loved it. I graduated five years ago, and I still miss it.

Peer Education Alumnus 2: I took a gap year and loved it. Our family had the means to allow me to travel, and I spent time abroad and also visited both sets of my grandparents. I worked at a job that allowed me to be flexible. When I went to college, I was ready. If you do take a gap year, I highly recommend you do it with careful planning. Don’t lose sight of your long-term goal of obtaining a degree.

Have a question? Send it to Dr. Mary Jo Podgurski’s email podmj@healthyteens.com.