Adults share memories of puberty
Last week’s column about periods inspired comments. Here are a few:
Comment 1: I so appreciated your column about periods. I’m nearly 69 and I still remember my confusion and embarrassment when I started my period at school in 6th grade. I wanted the earth to open up and swallow me. I didn’t understand what was happening and it was a mess! I also remember my teacher’s kindness. Thank God she was. Thanks for teaching these important things. When I was young, at least in my family, puberty was never spoken about. My mom gave me a book from Kotex but she didn’t explain anything.
Mary Jo’s Response: I remember the Kotex book. My mother tried to be open about periods. I need to give her credit because, as you say, the topic of puberty was seldom discussed openly then. When my mama gave me the book, she said, “Read this. It’s about your body.” She didn’t make eye contact though, which was strange. I was a reader, so I did indeed read the book, cover to cover, but in my child’s mind, I didn’t connect the information in the book with my life! My mama was kind during my puberty but she told me I was “a woman now” once my cycles began and could no longer jump rope with my friends. It astounds me how much information was withheld from young people when we were young.
Comment 2: I loved your column about growing up. I took my daughter to your class about puberty when she was 12. She’s in her 30s and a mom herself now. I’m happy to share the communication you started for us in that Saturday morning class that helped us get through adolescence and even college without a hitch.
Mary Jo’s Response: Thank you so very much. I had three main goals for those classes: The first was to empower young people with the knowledge that each of them would develop in the right time for them and their bodies were beautifully and wonderfully made. I also wanted them to leave class feeling prepared for the emotional and physical changes ahead. Finally, I wanted to instill in parent and child a communication connection to support them both as the young person transitioned through adolescence to adulthood. I am thrilled to know a connection was made for you. I appreciate your sharing.
Comment 3: I read your column about girls and periods with interest. As a man with no sisters and parents who did not teach me a single thing about bodies or puberty or sexuality, I was ill-prepared for the reality of my wife’s monthly cycles when we married. Fortunately, I married a wonderful woman who taught me about fertility and ovulation. When I look back on my life, I don’t think my situation was rare. I’m nearly 70. As a male, I think people just assumed I’d figure things out. My wife and I had three sons, and we brought all three of them to your growing up classes, each when they were 12. You presented the information in a kind and respectful way. Two of my boys are fathers to sons and I encourage them to be open with them. We received your book during class called “What’s Up as You Grow Up?” I passed it on for my grandsons!
Mary Jo’s Response: Wow! Thank you so much. Yes, I do believe it was common to ignore teaching young men, then, as if they had no questions or curiosity. I loved teaching sixth-graders! They were so much fun. I’m honored my book had such a long life in your family!
Have a question? Send it to Dr. Mary Jo Podgurski’s email podmj@healthyteens.com.