Memorial Day more than picnics
Q. Good morning and Happy Memorial Day. Why did my gramps get mad at me? I woke up this morning and went to his place like I do just about every day off from school, and I said good morning like always and then I said I was upset because my mom has to work so we’re not having a picnic for Memorial Day. I was pretty mad. And he got all quiet and so I just left. I have no idea what I did. I always ask you things I don’t understand, and I don’t understand this. I love my gramps, and I don’t want him to be upset with me. – 13-year-old
Mary Jo’s Response: I’m not sure why your grampa is upset with you, but I can make an educated guess. Before I do, though, I want to encourage you to talk this out with Gramps. Leaving may have felt like the right thing to do at the time, but Gramps is your family. Communication takes connection. It’s not easy to connect when people aren’t together. After we chat about this, please go back to his house and talk with him. Your gramps is part of your family and family matters.
Memorial Day means a lot more than picnics. It is a day of remembrance, reflection and quiet gratitude for those who gave their lives in service to our country. Some people don’t know much about the holiday. Here are some facts about Memorial Day from We Are Teachers:
Memorial Day, celebrated this year on Monday, May 26, is a somber day to honor and reflect on service members who paid the ultimate sacrifice for this country. The first Memorial Day was held in 1868, just three years after the end of the Civil War, which took the lives of 620,000 Americans or 2% of the population at the time. Memorial Day was originally called Decoration Day. Communities across the country would gather in the spring to decorate the graves of fallen soldiers with flowers. The day became known as Memorial Day after World War II. It became an officially recognized federal holiday in 1971. In 2000, Congress passed what is known as the National Moment of Remembrance Act. It encourages all Americans to pause for one minute at 3 p.m. on Memorial Day to remember and honor the sacrifices of those who have died in service to the United States.
As a child, my parents took me to the cemetery each Memorial Day. We honored fallen warriors in our family and tended to their graves. I remember hearing “Taps” played and seeing soldiers saluting.
There are two other days when we celebrate those who have served or are serving in the U.S. military: Armed Forces Day, which is earlier in May, an unofficial U.S. holiday for honoring those currently serving in the armed forces, and Veterans Day on Nov. 11, which honors all those who have served in the United States Armed Forces
Is it possible that your gramps is a veteran? He may have memories of friends who died during our nation’s wars. Even if he’s not a veteran, he may have reacted to your casual statement the way he did because he values the remembrance part of Memorial Day more than the picnics.
I think you should explain what you now know about Memorial Day and tell your gramps you didn’t understand. Listen to him and ask him to share what Memorial Day means to him. I hope he will talk with you and teach you. Be respectful. Remember, connection is important. Good luck.
Have a question? Send it to Dr. Mary Jo Podgurski’s email podmj@healthyteens.com.