close

Guests may be thieves

4 min read

Dear Annie: What should one do if family and friends come from out of state to visit, and when they leave, you see that some of your items are missing? I’m not talking about money and jewelry. I’m talking about good feather pillows and objects of art that are treasured.

When I asked the suspected perpetrators about the items, they all denied taking them. So I give up. Is there any way to get them back, or to prevent such things from being taken the next time? — A Mom and Grandmother

Dear Mom: Feather pillows? Perhaps you need to check the size of their luggage. Let’s start by giving them the benefit of the doubt. Is it possible that you moved these items elsewhere and forgot? It happens more often than we care to admit. And if it happens every single time you have any overnight guest, you may want to speak to your doctor. The problem may be coming from your end.

Friends who steal should not be invited back to stay overnight. Instead, recommend a nearby hotel and offer to meet them for dinner. You can do the same with relatives if you choose. We know that children and grandchildren often fall into a different category. Those who are already under suspicion should know that you plan to check their rooms for missing items before they leave because things get misplaced and you’d hate to accuse them of anything. Those who contemplate stealing will hopefully be warned and not repeat their misdeeds. You also should lock up any items of particular value. But if someone continues to steal, consider that it could be a mental health issue and suggest they get professional help.

Dear Annie: I’m writing about the letter from “Concerned Aunt,” whose nephew has herpes. I want to tell him it’s not his fault.

I am 42 and developed herpes in my late 20s. I was also unaware of my partner’s status until infected. Initially, I was disturbed, saddened and upset. But I learned of others in the same situation who encouraged me and shared their stories of coping. I can report that there is hope. I date and have successful relationships. In each case, I share my status before any intimate contact and inform them of the safety measures we must engage in. Each one has been OK with it. I have few breakouts, and I adhere to safety measures.

I still get saddened at times, but I keep the faith. I also use my status to share discreetly with young people, family and close friends about safe sex concerns including “dental dams,” of which I was never told and find most people are unaware. Surprisingly, I could donate blood a year after infection, which somehow comforted me.

Herpes is a very manageable situation, and you are not alone. You can have a full life, and you will find people to care about and love you. I find that being honest and upfront is extremely important. — Nicole from NYC

Dear Nicole: Thank you for your supportive letter. We hope the nephew will see this and be reassured.

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailbox@creators.com, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254.

CUSTOMER LOGIN

If you have an account and are registered for online access, sign in with your email address and password below.

NEW CUSTOMERS/UNREGISTERED ACCOUNTS

Never been a subscriber and want to subscribe, click the Subscribe button below.

Starting at $4.79/week.

Subscribe Today