Old acquaintance an awful presence
Dear Annie: I am a 19-year-old full-time college student, and I work part-time at a fast food place. I started my job two years ago, and for the most part, I enjoy it and have made several friends.
Eight months ago, “Ally” joined our team. I happened to have attended elementary school with Ally. We always butted heads back then, but my first impression of her at work was a good one, and I was happy to think she had matured. Or so I thought. As time went on, her true colors reappeared. Despite my initial kindness to her, she has singled me out and treated me horribly.
The problem is that everyone else seems to love her. Even worse, she was promoted last month, which was surprising considering she’s so new. Now it would be difficult for me to complain about her to my supervisor. She’s my supervisor.
I’m tired of letting Ally push me around, and it’s lonely to know that I’m the only one to whom she does this. I don’t want to start any trouble. I just want peace and for these petty matters to disappear. I am frustrated with myself for letting this girl get under my skin. What can I do? — Fed Up in Jacksonville, Fla.
Dear Fed Up: You could complain to a supervisor above Ally, but no one else is apparently witnessing her unkindness toward you, so that might not help. Here’s a different tactic: Ally may still think of you the way she did in grade school. Why not take her aside and ask, politely and nicely, what’s going on? Let her know you were happy to see her when she first showed up and hoped you could start fresh. Even if she denies her poor behavior, she will be more aware of it and that could be enough. Of course, if it doesn’t work, another option is looking for different job.
Dear Annie: My wife began rationing sex almost from the day we married. I tried everything to improve the situation, but nothing worked. She thought once or twice a year was more than enough, and after 15 years, she stopped entirely.
I wanted to be true to our marriage vows, but frustration finally prevailed and I discovered a world full of women who were ready and willing for sex with no strings attached. It was not as satisfying as that within marriage, but I was a 35-year-old male in excellent health and with a strong sex drive.
Women who think they can solve their marital problems by sleeping with their legs crossed have a rude awakening, trust me. If a man is not getting it at home, he will get it elsewhere. — Formally Frustrated in Arkansas
Dear Arkansas: If your wife began rationing sex early in your marriage, it is likely she had a problem to begin with, and it doesn’t sound as though you found her to have other qualities that made up for it. We agree that wives who eliminate sex risk the marriage. But blaming your wife for your philandering is an excuse to cheat. Get into counseling or get a divorce. Dear Annie: I read the letter from “Frustrated Pastor’s Wife” whose husband is not always paid for wedding and funeral services.
I have had to help plan several funerals in my lifetime. In each case, the funeral director provided the suggested amount to give the pastor for his or her services. I appreciated this guidance, as it made it much easier to know what to give when I was already overwhelmed with a loved one’s death.
Perhaps the pastor could talk to the funeral directors in his area and ask them to raise this issue when covering costs. The same could be done with wedding planners. — My Two Cents
Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.