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Steg-daughter bad news

3 min read

Dear Annie: I have been married for 20 years. When I met my husband, he already had a grown daughter from his first marriage who was living independently in another state. “Beth” and I have never been particularly close.

Seven years ago, Beth married a man who ran off within six months, and she has no clue where he is. He doesn’t pay child support, and the authorities cannot find him. Her twin girls are now 7 years old and completely undisciplined and unstable. I don’t particularly enjoy Beth’s company or that of her children, and neither does my husband, but we do our best to have a decent relationship with all of them.

The problem is, I am terrified that something will happen to Beth and my husband and I will be responsible for the twins. There is no one else. At my age, I do not have the physical or emotional capability to raise them, and I don’t think my marriage would survive the stress.

If Beth runs off or dies or something, are we responsible for these children? I have told her that her father and I are not able to raise her kids, but as far as I know, Beth has made no guardianship arrangements with anyone else.I feel like a terrible person, but it is becoming a major stress factor in my life. Please help. — Scared Stepmom in Chicago

Dear Scared: We could try to convince you that your stable presence might turn those children’s lives around, and we hope you will consider that. But we know that not everyone is capable of raising young children, particularly ones with existing behavioral issues.

Rest assured, you will not be forced to take these children should something happen to Beth. If she does not designate a guardian (who agrees to take them), and no family member is willing to step up, then the children become wards of the state and possibly placed in foster care. Your best bet is to hope nothing happens to Beth.

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailbox@creators.com, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. You can also find Annie on Facebook at Facebook.com/AskAnnies. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

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