Man catastrophizes
Dear Annie: It has been more than 30 years since I first received my diagnosis of depression and anxiety disorder. While working in a job I didn’t enjoy and anticipating the birth of my first child, I realized something wasn’t right about me.
I had moments when I was filled with self-doubt and anxiety. One day, while doing a seemingly benign task at work, I went into a devastating and negative spiral and started obsessing about the likelihood of losing my job. At the urging of my wife, I sought professional help. I later learned I was prone to catastrophizing, or attaching grave consequences to unimportant events.
I have worked hard, with the support of my family, to find the most appropriate and effective treatment. While I still experience periodic setbacks, overall, I have responded well and have found a therapist who helped me identify and cope with my triggers.
Stigma is a very real factor when it comes to depression, and so many who share my illness, especially men, grapple with this in silence. My own experience has inspired me to help others and embark on a new journey as a writer. I want to share my story to let others know that depression is treatable and help is available.
October is Depression Awareness Month — the perfect opportunity to seek help for the first time. If you are worried about yourself or a loved one, please visit Help-YourselfHelpOthers.org to take an anonymous self-assessment for depression. At the website, you will learn more about the illness and available treatment options in your area. — Michael Rafferty
Dear Michael: Thank you for your honesty and desire to help others who suffer from depression and anxiety. Readers, please visit HelpYourselfHelpOthers.org to learn more.
Dear Annie: I know the younger generation likes to do things the easy way, but where do proper manners end and just plain laziness and the “gimme” attitude begin?
We received a postcard invitation from a newly married couple stating that they could not hold a real housewarming party, so they were inviting us to a virtual housewarming party. The invitation included where they were registered for gifts.
I thought about copying and pasting a photo from the registry and emailing it with a note saying, “Your virtual gift is attached.” But I didn’t think they would understand that a real gift would not be forthcoming, so I did not respond at all.
Should I have sent a real one? — Thought My Granddaughter Knew Better
Dear Thought: How nice that the couple can’t be bothered to entertain anyone or show them their new home (even a virtual tour), but they expect everyone to send presents anyway. We know some people would have done just that, and as a grandmother, you might have chosen to send them a gift for their new home even if they had not had a “housewarming” at all. But we agree that this type of invitation is pretty tacky. And what’s more depressing is that your granddaughter is not the only one doing it. But we love your idea of a virtual gift for a virtual housewarming. Maybe if enough people responded that way, these ridiculous invitations would cease.
Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailbox@creators.com, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. You can also find Annie on Facebook at Facebook.com/AskAnnies. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators .com.