Aug 13, 2002 4 min read

Last week, I went to see the surprise summer movie hit “My Big Fat Greek Wedding.’ The movie is sweet and funny and reminds us that weddings are not only a celebration of love but also an event that combines the cultural and ethnic traditions of both families.

Screenwriter and star, Nia Vardalos, gives us a sneak peek into her Greek heritage and some unusual Greek customs. Her character, Toula, is an unmarried 30 year-old woman who lives and works with her parents in their family-owned Greek restaurant.

Much to her father’s dismay, she meets and falls in love with a “Xeno” (foreigner), a tall and handsome high school teacher.

To have their big, fat, Greek wedding, her true love is baptized (in a kiddie pool) in the Greek Orthodox Church.

The wedding includes a powder blue limousine, two ice sculptures and 10 bridesmaids in turquoise dresses, and a five layer wedding cake with a plastic staircase and a fountain of champagne.

The movie is a good reminder that some ethnic and religious differences can seem strange and unfamiliar to wedding guests. If your are combining religious customs or including ethnic music or traditions in your ceremony, you might want to provide your guests with a wedding program or missal. A missal can provide your guests a guideline of the worship service and a background explanation to a family’s ethnic or religious custom.

This type of wedding program could include everythingyour priest says and the appropriate guest responses. The missal could explain religious customs; whether the guest should sit, stand or kneel; and list readings and music selections. The missal is more substantial in size than a typical wedding program so the costs of printing and duplication will be greater. Nevertheless, it would give greater insight and meaning to your ceremony and provide a higher level of comfort and understanding for your guests.

Did you know…Greek, Syrian, Russian and Armenian Orthodox are called Eastern Orthodox Christendom and are not Roman Catholic. The liturgical services are similar to the Roman Catholic Church but there are some distinct differences. Interdenominational differences are accepted if the non-Orthodox party is a baptized Christian. Here are a few Orthodox wedding customs worth mentioning:

– The traditional wedding music of an Orthodox wedding is that of a choir singing ancient Russian or Byzantine chants.

– The wedding begins with a betrothal ritual in the center or front of the church. The rings are blessed by the priest and then exchanged three times between the bride and groom. This triplicate exchange symbolizes that the betrothal is taking place among the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Both the bride and groom wear a wedding ring on the fourth finger of their right hand.

– The celebration of the sacrament of marriage includes two crowns, one each for the bride and groom. The wreaths, like the rings, are exchanged between them three times. The crowning of the wedding couple signifies their coronation as rulers of their new family realm.

– The couple sips three times from a common cup of wine after the Gospel has been read. Sharing the cup of wine symbolizes the joys and sorrows they will share together.

– The couple is accompanied by a “koumbaros” (sponsor) three times around a ceremonial table. The table is set with sugar-coated almonds (symbolic of the bitter and sweet of marriage), icons, and candles.

This circling is a symbolic reminder that marriage is never ending.

The sponsor can be any person who will continue to have an important relationship with the couple.

K. Joy Schaeffer is a bridal consultant. You can e-mail her your bridal questions at bridejoy@yahoo.com.