Best golf game plays out on 19th hole
Some people will make up any excuse to justify a bad round on the golf course. Just because I tossed a guy’s favorite golf ball in the lake during the Kiwanis Club’s fund-raising tournament at Duck Hollow Golf Course, he blames me for his poor score.
There are more challenges to the game than just getting a low score. At least, in our group. We constantly experience mishaps, pranks and misadventures of various sorts.
The way we play golf it can become a contact sport. I will explain later.
If you’re a golfer you know how it is to keep hearing about how far a guy drives the ball off the tee. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that the head of the golf club was bigger than a Honda Civic.
Hole after hole we endured this running commentary from other players in our group.
Granted, this player was blasting some very long shots. In fact, I predicted as he teed up the ball that he would hit his drive so far that it would drop into the lake, which was at least 300 yards or more away.
He crushed the shot, as usual. We lost sight of the ball, but it was headed directly for water.
When we pulled up to play the second shot, his ball was only yards away from the water’s edge.
On the cart drive down the fairway, I devised a simple plan.
I walked over to his ball, looked over to make sure he was watching, and threw it as far as I could into the lake. It was one of those photo moments. If I had a camera, it would have been a priceless picture. He was stunned.
He immediately dug into his golf bag and pulled out a telescoping pole used to retrieve balls from water. He was on his way to the lake with me yelling at him to stop.
I told him to forget looking for that ball. It was one that I pulled out of my golf bag before I walked over to his ball. I explained that I had picked up his ball, switched it in my hand with the old ball I had, and tossed the beat-up ball into the lake.
No one should get that attached to a golf ball, even if it is a Nike.
We managed to convert the game of golf into a physical contact sport at a previous Kiwanis tournament. After nine holes of play we were going to take a brief refreshment break at the club house.
Being the generous types that they are, my playing partners invited me to ride along with them for the short distance. Their cart already had two occupants, so I was encouraged to hitch a ride on the side. There’s a reason for those warning signs which cite a maximum passenger load of two.
I lost my grip while the cart was moving. My tumble to the ground was witnessed by several people, some of whom even thought my dive to the dirt was hilarious.
Fortunately, the only damage was a skinned knee. And the fact that the story is retold each and every year on numerous golf courses throughout the state.
Golfers are always looking for advice. I have a couple of tips. Don’t trust editors who throw golf balls into a lake. And, if you must dive from a golf cart, duck and roll when you hit the ground.
Mike Ellis is the editor of the Herald-Standard. His e-mail address is: mellis@heraldstandard.com.