Camp helps children deal with grief
One of the youngest campers at 2001 Camp Shining Star, Samantha Striner of Connellsville recalled that, at first, she was a little nervous about being at this special program for grieving children. “There were bigger kids than me,’ said Samantha, who had never been to camp before.
But, today, Samantha has good memories of that weekend when she and other children who had lost family members were allowed to talk about their emotions, remember the good things about their loved ones and just have fun.
“We made memory boxes and let go of balloons and went through a challenge course,’ said Samantha, now 7 and a first grade student at Conn-Area Catholic School. “…I had a good time.’
Samantha also had a chance to talk about her feelings since her father, Ellis Striner, died at age 40 in June 2000 from colon cancer. He left behind his wife, Susan, daughter, Samantha, and son, Nathan, now 3.
Striner had been a hospice patient for Albert Gallatin Home Care and Hospice, which operates Camp Shining Star. During a bereavement call to the family last spring, the staff mentioned the camp to Mrs. Striner and Samantha became one of the first children to sign up for the 2001 program.
“I thought it was a very good idea,’ said Mrs. Striner. “I was dealing with my own grief and I wanted someone to effectively deal with her.’
Camp Shining Star is a weekend camp offered once a year for children age 6 to 12 who have lost someone significant in their lives in the past year. That could be a brother, sister, aunt, uncle, best friend, grandparent or parent, explained Marilyn Cartwright, Albert Gallatin’s bereavement coordinator and director of the camp.
Camp Shining Star will be offered for the third year at Jumonville in North Union Township on June 7-9. The camp, which is funded by donations, is free to the children.
“We get a lot of support for this camp, which is gratifying,’ said Patricia Altman, director of administration for Albert Gallatin.
The camp offers such fun activities as arts and crafts, going through an obstacle course and a karaoke sing as well as healing activities that include making a memory box of the loved one, talking about emotions and a symbolic balloon release.
“It normalizes their grief,’ said Cartwright. “It also lets them realize they’re not the only one, that there are other kids going through the same feelings of sadness.’
Staff for Camp Shining Star includes Cartwright, nurses, social workers, volunteers and child psychologist Dr. Ron Pearce of Fairmont, W.Va. Pearce does healing sessions and individual counseling. The adults act as Big Buddies for the campers, who are referred to as Little Dippers. The campers are together for many activities but are also divided into age groups (six to eight, and nine to 12) for some activities.
Activities in which the children are divided by age include a session on dealing with emotions.
“Sometimes little children are not able to identify their feelings,’ explained Cartwright.
But children are not pressured to talk about things they don’t want to deal with.
“We never make them dredge up the past and have to talk about it,’ said Cartwright. “If they are having problems, we teach them it’s OK to talk about it. We teach them it’s normal to have these feelings of anger and sadness and regrets. We try to normalize their feelings.’
But the healing sessions are intermingled with opportunities for fun.
“Children grieve in spurts so that’s why you see fun stuff spread throughout the day,’ said Cartwright.
A look at the 2002 Camp Shining Star schedule shows such fun activities as singing around a campfire, organized games and a challenge course, which is symbolic.
“They have obstacles they have to overcome, just like grief,’ Cartwright said of the challenge course. “Some parts are easy and you go through it yourself. Some are more challenging and some you need help from someone else.’
Pizza and karaoke on Saturday night is just a time to relax.
“That’s when you see the Britney Spears and Backstreet Boys. You never knew there was that much talent,’ said Cartwright. “By Saturday night, you can’t tell that these kids just met Friday afternoon.’
On Sunday afternoon, the campers have a balloon release, which is also symbolic of letting go, Cartwright said. They can draw pictures or write messages on the balloons and then their Big Buddies help the campers cut the ribbons.
Samantha remembered the memory boxes the campers made.
“I put good stuff in – some of the kinds of food he liked. I think it was corn on the cob. I put a picture of corn on the cob in. I put a wallet in there and a watch and a picture of a drill. I keep it in my closet,’ said Samantha, who said that sometimes she takes it out to look at it. “It makes me feel happy.’
Mrs. Striner said her daughter found comfort in being around other children who understood her grief.
“You made the comment that none of the kids at school had lost a father. You felt you belonged (at the camp) because kids had lost mothers, fathers – one lost a brother. There was a sense of belonging,’ she said.
Mrs. Striner said there have been gradual changes in her daughter since Samantha left Camp Shining Star.
“She continues to grow and mature spiritually and emotionally. She’s accepted the fact that this is where Daddy has to be,’ said Mrs. Striner. “…I think the camp opened her up. I didn’t know where she was. She had a lot of anger towards God, a lot of anger in general. If I talked, she clamed up. She didn’t want to hear about Daddy being sick. She drew pictures (at camp) and it worked its way through her. She seems more happy. In fact, we’ve had some pretty deep conversations since that time.’
Mrs. Striner added, “This is a wonderful program. People talk about closure. There is no such thing. Samantha will never have closure. It’s a transitional thing. But she’s doing well and I’m proud of her.’
Albert Gallatin Home Care and Hospice is now accepting applications for Camp Shining Star. Officials ask people to register early as space is limited. For more information, phone 724-438-6660 or 1-800-245-4144.