May 12, 2002 4 min read

Dear Joy, I enjoy reading your column, especially when you give creative ideas for decorations at bridal showers and weddings.

I’ve decided not to have a theme wedding, but I want to be nostalgic and focus on family memories. So many of our family members live out-of-state, and I feel that our wedding will be a reunion, too.

Do you have any suggestions on how to guide our family members down memory lane? Our wedding is in June 2003, so we have a lot of time to plan. Thanks. Tina.

Dear Tina,

A wedding is not only a wonderful opportunity to share stories and memories with family members, but it is also the perfect time to create new memories. Here are some stepping stones for your stroll down memory lane:

Music is an essential component to serenade your guests as they reminisce. Songs can elicit many emotions and memories. Even if your guests don’t dance, you can be assured they will be tapping their feet when they hear a favorite tune.

A band or a DJ with a good mix of popular oldies from the 1940’s through the 1980’s will provide the perfect atmosphere.

Before you contract with your DJ or bandleader, make sure he is aware of your “oldies” preference and can accommodate your music requests.

Take in one of their appearances to see if they play a wide variety of oldie tunes. And ask yourself this very important question: Is the music volume low enough for conversation?

Write down songs that have special significance for your family, such as your parents’ wedding song.

Give your DJ a special request list well before the event. Your DJ could introduce a song that is special to a guest. If you ask close relatives for some of their favorite tunes, you can be assured that they will give you plenty of suggestions.

A wedding reception is the perfect opportunity to acknowledge a family milestone. Are you getting married on your grandparent’s anniversary date or your uncle’s 65th birthday? Ask your guests to toast to their marriage and your uncle’s health.

Two display boards, decorated with pictures from both sides of the family, are a charming way to get your families to reminisce. Pictures from the weddings of your grandparents, parents, aunts and uncles, labeled with names and dates, will generate a lot of interest and talk. A few cute baby pictures of the bride and groom should be included, too. Assembling this collection can take some time, so don’t wait until the last minute to collect them. Just remember to keep the unflattering and embarrassing pictures at home. Help those guests who do not have a family connection feel comfortable and included in your celebration. A letter of introduction at each table can introduce table guests and their relationship to the bride and groom.

Include favorite family recipes in your menu selection. Ask your caterer to serve your grandmother’s famous coconut macaroons or your mother-in-law’s stuffed mushrooms.

Discuss and submit their recipes to your caterer to see if they can be duplicated and included in your menu.

Share and celebrate your ethnic traditions with food, music and dance.

Borrow wedding items from various family members and include this information in your wedding program. A groom can borrow a pocket watch from his dad, cufflinks from his grandfather, and a crazy pair of socks from a brother.

The best way to maintain a family connection is to build new memories.

I believe young family members should be included in your celebration, so invite children and teenagers. Your wedding will be fun, young-hearted, and less pretentious. It will also promote stability and memories for future generations.

K. Joy Schaeffer is a bridal consultant. You can e-mail her your bridal questions at bridejoy@yahoo.com.