May 26, 2002 3 min read

Dear Joy, What is the proper protocol for the rehearsal dinner and a receiving line?

Dorothy.

Dear Dorothy,

There isn’t a lot of protocol at a rehearsal dinner since the dinner is meant to be a casual and relaxing prelude to the wedding day.

Wedding party participants, their guests, the officiant and guest, and immediate family and their spouses should be invited to the rehearsal dinner. Child participants and their parents, readers, and any out-of-town guests also should be invited.

A pizza party at a private home, a dinner at an ethnic restaurant, or a picnic are just some of the suggestions for a fun, lighthearted evening. Clothing can be casual, too. Written invitations are not needed, a phone call will suffice.

Toasts are usually made to the couple, first by the parents of the groom (usually the hosts), and then by the parents of the bride. The best man will then have the oppor- tunity to toast to the couple.

The groom will offer a toast to his bride and future in-laws, and the bride will offer a toast to her groom and future in-laws.

The dinner provides a nice opportunity for the couple to hand out their gifts to attendants and parents.

A receiving line can be set-up at the exit of the ceremony site or at the reception. A typical receiving line is composed of the bride’s mother and father, the groom’s mother and father, and the bride and groom. Attendants need not participate in the receiving line. Sometimes the fathers prefer not to participate and mingle with the crowd instead.

Dear Joy,

If you eliminate a receiving line, and release guests from their seats, is it a faster way to greet your guests? And how exactly does this work? Nicole.

Dear Nicole,

Immediately after the recessional, the bride and groom walk back down the aisle. They go directly to the first rows and greet their parents. After they receive hugs and kisses from their parents, they release and greet the next row, and so on.

This arrangement can work out smoothly, as long as the parents do not proceed to the back of the church and begin to greet guests. A traffic jam will occur if the bride and groom greet their guests too quickly and the parents greet their guests too slowly. In this instance, released guests still have to wait in line to talk to the parents.

The only advantage to releasing the pews versus a receiving line is to the guests. They can remain seated while they wait for the bride and groom to release their pew.

Joy’s Bridal Tip: Here are some wedding rehearsal guidelines:

The rehearsal is usually scheduled for the night before the wedding. Expect a religious wedding rehearsal to last for at least one hour. Late arrivals, excessive chatting, and large wedding parties influence the length of rehearsals.

The officiant, or an on-site wedding coordinator, will lead the rehearsal and answer your questions.

Participants and readers should practice group responses and selected readings. Soloists and special musical accompanists should rehearse. Special traditions, such as the lighting of unity candles, should also be practiced.

Professional photographers and videographers, if unfamiliar with the ceremony site, may check out the location during the rehearsal.

K. Joy Schaeffer is a bridal consultant. You can e-mail her your bridal questions at bridejoy@yahoo.com.