Decision to participate is up to the eight-month pregnant bridesmaid
Dear Joy, My daughter is going to be in her cousin’s wedding next April. She just found out that she is pregnant with her first baby, and on the wedding date, she will be approximately eight months along. I think she should bow out of the wedding, and my sister, the bride’s mother, agrees with me. My daughter, and her cousin the bride, think it’s okay for her to participate. The generations are divided over this issue. What do you think? Aunt and MOB
Dear Aunt and MOB,
I think the decision should be left to the bride and your daughter. Before a decision is made though, they need to consider your daughter’s general health and garment choices.
If your daughter feels that she will be well enough to participate in the wedding, here are a few suggestions that may help with her decision.
First of all, it is acceptable for an attendant to have an entirely different gown, shoes and flowers from the rest of the bridal party. A bridal shop can give her style recommendations that could minimize her condition. Fortunately, some of those styles may also be attractive on the rest of the bridesmaids.
Extra material from the manufacturer and a larger size gown should be ordered. She may also be advised to order a gown with an extra six inches of skirt length. The extra length would assure that there would be enough material for a proper length at the time of alterations, as a larger mid-section, due to pregnancy, tends to pull up the skirt length considerably.
A skilled seamstress from a reputable bridal salon should be able to make sizing adjustments. Keep in mind that extra material and an extra length, along with sizeable alterations, can be quite costly.
The fittings should not be made too far in advance of the wedding since the baby, and your daughter, will grow. The comfortable shoes and undergarments she will wear on the day of the wedding need to be worn when the gown is being fitted.
Low-heeled shoes to prevent falls and to minimize foot swelling should be worn.
Seating should be provided for the entire wedding party during the ceremony, and she should stand only when she performs an official duty, such as the exchange of rings.
No need to worry about pictures either-a large floral bouquet can cover up a growing middle.
The worst scenario: as her due date nears, and if she is unable to fulfill her duties due to her condition, I recommend to the bride that she not find a replacement.
The mom-to-be can be listed as an “honorary bridesmaid” in the wedding program. And in this unfortunate circumstance, the pregnant bridesmaid should absorb the cost of her expenses.
Dear Joy,
We both have divorce parents and they have all remarried. We have four sets of parents and step-parents between us.
Where do they sit at the ceremony and the reception? They are all on speaking terms-Thank God! Patti and Mike
Dear Patti and Mike,
If everyone is on speaking terms and is cordial, you may seat them together in the first pew on both sides of the aisle.
If you are concerned about dissension, you may want to place the parent and spouse, with whom you have lived, in the first pew.
The third pew can be used by the other parent and spouse, while the second pew remains empty.
At the reception, assign divorced parents and their families, to separate tables.
K. Joy Schaeffer is a bridal consultant. You can e-mail her at bridejoy@yahoo.com.