Family members of veterans feel the intense pressure of war
It still seems like it was yesterday when our son was in the MidEast, facing the threat of Saddam Hussein’s 500,000-man army. His Air Force jet fighter group stationed at Shaw Air Force Base in South Carolina was among the first to be called overseas in the Gulf War. He was a crew chief for an F-16 jet at a desert landing strip.
We said a collective prayer of relief when he arrived safely back on U.S. soil eight months later. The unit he served with lost one pilot in that conflict.
Someone asked me the other day how our family coped with the situation, and did the stress of having our son being placed in harm’s way cause him or us to oppose that war.
The question, and today’s battles in Iraq, brought back the memories of those days. When we wondered how everyone else seemed to be so calm, going about their business as usual, even though a war was being fought.
He joined the Air Force at a time when there was no hint of a conflict. Six months later he was in the middle of the war.
It soon became clear to us that we were intensely focused on the battle because we had a personal interest, the welfare and safety of our son.
Did it turn us against that war, or war in general? Not really. Our son had volunteered his service to our country. We were aware of the risks.
When you have a son or daughter in a war, your focus becomes extremely narrow. You grasp at any small bit of information about where they are, or any immediate threats they may face.
You spend every day in constant stress. It doesn’t help that the military limits communications with family members in the time of battle. It’s understandable, but it just puts more pressure on family members who don’t even know exactly where their loved one is at any given time.
Having journalists traveling with the fighting units and reporting information to the world, such as is being done with the current battle, probably would have increased our anxiety. It’s somewhat ironic that not having any information could have been somewhat better than getting bits and pieces.
But families with soldiers in this war still don’t know from day to day what threats they are facing personally. And, after all, the focus, the real priority, the major point of stress, is on the safety of your son or daughter.
Of course, you want the war to end, but the motivation is not necessarily political. It’s personal. As far as our son was concerned, he was like any other military person. He was there to protect his unit, his friends, family and his country, probably in that order of priority.
Like other military veterans, he never had a great deal to say about his eight months overseas. It surprised us since prior to that time he was never reluctant to boast a bit about his accomplishments.
We were left with the feeling that whatever happened, whatever he did when he worked 16-to-20-hour shifts at that desert landing strip with its concrete bunkers protecting F-16 fighter jets that flew nightly raids over Baghdad, he believed it was not something that he should boast about in casual conversation. And, to this day, he never has.
Today we can read the stories, watch the television news about the battle in Iraq, with deep concern about the safety of our all of our military personnel.
For the members of those military families whose sons or daughters face the Republican Guard and the possibility of an attack by chemical weapons, they pray for one thing. The safe return of their son or daughter. As soon as possible.
Our family joins them with a daily prayer that the war in Iraq will end. That the young men and women who are sacrificing so much will return home soon.
But only those who have a family member in the middle of that war really know the heart-pounding, 24-hour fear and unrelenting pressure that never end as long as your child, husband or wife face the threat of death in a war.
Mike Ellis is the editor of the Herald-Standard. His e-mail address is: begin mellis@heraldstandard.com mellis@heraldstandard.com end