Aug 10, 2003 By Commentary John Mehno 3 min read

PITTSBURGH – People who watch the Bill Cowher press conference on TV always have two questions: 1. Where does he get those sweaters?

2. Why don’t you guys ask the tough questions?

The first is a mystery (We suspect Lou’s Big and Angry Shop) but the second is easy enough.

The problem isn’t always the questions as much as it is the answers.

Cowher rarely says anything of substance and that’s by design.

Given that he enters the room voluntarily and not under subpoena, there’s not much that can be done. People seem to want the session to resemble the last five minutes of an old “Perry Mason” episode, where he’s confronted with irrefutable evidence that makes him start sobbing and admitting that Kordell Stewart was the worst idea he ever had.

Funny thing is a lot of armchair Woodwards and Bernsteins wilt when given the chance to ask their own questions.

Case in point was a recent fans’ session with Pittsburgh Pirates General Manager Dave Littlefield.

According to CBS Sportsline, the first question was posed by a woman and went like this:

“The consistent problem I have is I don’t see (manager) Lloyd McClendon putting a consistent team on the field. I really take issue with this … I really don’t think we’d be in this position if Lloyd McClendon put his best team on the field.”

That’s it? You have a team that claims to be $30 million in debt despite record attendance and the highest ticket prices in franchise history and that’s the opening salvo? A team that says it committed to building with young players gives away a 25-year-old, 100-RBI third baseman and the consistency of the lineup is a concern?

(By the way, it’s amazing that people think putting the same eight players on the field day after day will somehow create success. The reason the lineup is juggled is to maximize limited talent. Even the Pirates’ World Series teams of 1960, ’71 and ’79 utilized platoons with at least two positions).

Littlefield should have been worried that he was diving into the shark tank. Instead, that question was from the playful porpoises.

You have the feeling the lady in question could have been on the Titanic’s deck with water whooshing over her shoes … and she’d be asking the waiter if the tuna salad was made with mayonnaise or Miracle Whip.

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It’s probably inadvertent but the Pittsburgh Penguins’ new print ads get it exactly right:

Mario Lemieux looming large over a group of players recognizable only to their immediate families.

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Thanks to their sweetheart deal with the city, the Pirates got all the concession revenues from Wednesday’s Bruce Springsteen concert.

There were 47,000 people on hand, which means they probably moved a few of those $5.50 beers over four hours on a hot night.

The Pirates might have covered a chunk of their Kevin Young money thanks to Springsteen.

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How symbolic.

In a week when Pittsburgh went so broke it had to close swimming pools and fire crossing guards, the Pirates were prepared to pay the San Diego Padres up to $20 million to take Jason Kendall.

The Pirates, of course, have been rescued more than once with public money.

This is exactly why governments should never give a dime to professional sports franchises.

They find the most incredible ways to waste it.

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Tom Murphy must be the Cam Bonifay of mayors.

John Mehno can be reached at johnmehno@lycos.com.