Future bride urged to continue with wedding plans despite father’s illness
Dear Joy, I just found out that my dad has lung cancer and it looks like he will be going through chemo and radiation therapy for the next few months. My wedding is scheduled for late April and I am concerned that he will not feel well enough to attend. The doctor mentioned that during the treatment he should avoid exposure to a lot of people to lessen his risk of infection. Should I cancel or go on with my plans? Lori
Dear Lori,
I hope your dad will have a quick and complete recovery. I think you need to continue with your wedding plans.
I believe it would be more stressful to postpone the event at this late date. If your father is unable to attend your event, videotape the event and share it with him as soon as possible. Be sure to have your officiant include him in your prayers if you are having a religious ceremony.
Make sure you stop by to see him for a quick visit between the ceremony and reception or after the reception.
If his doctor gives the okay and he feels well enough to attend, consider hiring a nurse for the day. Make sure a cell phone is available in case of an emergency. Good luck.
Dear Joy,
I am marrying for the second time. My husband died when my children were very young. My former in-laws continue to be a big part of our life since they are very attached to me and my children (their grandchildren). Is it inappropriate to invite them to my wedding? Sue
Dear Sue,
No. It is wonderful that you have maintained a close relationship with them, especially for the sake of your children. The invitation sends a positive message to your children and your former in-laws that you want to continue your relationship with them. It also sends a message that your new spouse is accepting of the relationship, too.
Despite all of these good feelings, realize that it may be difficult for them to attend. If they decide not to attend, invite them to dinner when you return from your honeymoon.
Dear Joy,
My niece is getting married in a church that I am not familiar with. I know that there will be different responses and I heard that during the ceremony they will stand and kneel a lot. I am always confused during an unfamiliar ceremony and feel like a fish out of water. Any suggestions on how not to look so awkward? Jean
Dear Jean,
Stand when everyone stands. If you do not want to kneel, it is appropriate to sit. You can remain quiet during the responses. Many couples provide programs that will detail the order of the ceremony.
If there are any special instructions to the guests, announcements are sometimes made by the officiant at the beginning of the service or they are detailed in a wedding program. Realize that everyone is focused on the couple and the ceremony and no one will notice if you are hesitant about your responses. Remember that the majority of guests are usually unfamiliar with the couple’s place of worship and order of service, too.
K. Joy Schaeffer is a bridal consultant. You can e-mail bridal questions to bridejoy@yahoo.com.