Stable enivronment provides emotional support
For a 14-year-old, Lexy Whipple has certainly moved around to more than her fair share of foster families. However, although she seems to have received a number of positive experiences along the way, she didn’t appear to be getting the emotional support she needs.
In August 2001, Pressley Ridge, a professional treatment service for troubled children and families, phoned the Rev. Charles Whipple and his wife, Linda, to see if they’d be interested in providing emergency foster care for Lexy in their Mount Pleasant home.
The Whipples certainly qualified as supportive caretakers. They had completed the program’s preliminary screening process and went through the 50 hours of training needed to participate in PRYDE, Pressley Ridge’s treatment foster care program.
“When Lexy’s previous foster family brought her to us, they did a good transitional job of saying goodbye,” said Linda. “Since then, she’ s adjusted quite well to her new environment.”
Lexy was fortunate in other ways as well. Her new parents had a good deal of child-rearing experience to fall back on. Not only had they had raised three children of their own, but Linda earned a bachelor’s degree in child development/family relations from Indiana University of Pennsylvania and Rev. Whipple’s ministry has involved work with youths as well as delinquents, prison inmates and people of all ages.
To help Lexy adjust to her new circumstances, Pressley Ridge provided the family with a therapist who came into the home on a regular basis. A liaison also visited once a week to talk with Lexy and the family to see how things were going, and a community aide also visited to help with Lexy’s social skills.
“When Lexy first arrived, she was emotionally guarded and didn’t seem to want to make friends or do much of anything because she feared she might be moved to yet another placement,” said Kathy, the Whipples’ 26-year-old daughter. “Depending on the situation, she was often withdrawn.”
As her new mother, Linda noticed that Lexy, an avid reader, would often emotionally retreat into her books. Over time, she says she’s been able to tell by Lexy’s demeanor whether her reading habit is emotional escapism or part of a healthy interest and curiosity about life.
“Since she arrived, Lexy’s been getting more and more involved in the family,” said Linda. “She’s learning to trust us, but it’ll take some time for her to let her guard down completely. Her experience is a lot like a young bird that’s learning to fly. You have to help them learn by their mistakes so they can eventually spread their wings and soar.”
Before Lexy moved in with the Whipples, she was getting just barely passing grades in school. Now, she’s on the honor roll, has joined the school chorus and church choir, attends a weekly youth group, is making friends at school and works as a candy striper at the Frick Hospital in Mount Pleasant.
At home, too, Lexy seems better adjusted. She laughs a lot and likes to tell amusing anecdotes of her recent past.
“Once, when we were watching “The Fox and Hounds’ on TV, the dogs started to bark in the film, and Blackie, [the family’s cute Basset hound] began running around the house looking for who was making all the commotion,” she chuckled.
The Whipples first got involved with Pressley Ridge after they moved to Mount Pleasant and Linda took a job with the organization as a therapeutic support worker. Because she moved around the country with her husband when his ministry took him to various assignments, she has a good deal of experience working with children with behavior disorders in Virginia and Ohio as well as Pennsylvania.
“Lexy’s been with us almost a year and a half now,” said Rev. Whipple, the pastor for the Mount Joy Church of the Brethren. “Linda and I have had children in our home all of our married life, and having Lexy here hasn’t been much different from past experience.”
Linda, who’s managed to raise her family as well as hold down a full-time job for most of her married life, says she always wanted to provide foster care for some needy child, but decided to wait until her children were grown so it wouldn’t take away from their own upbringing.
On Nov. 22, the Whipples went one step further than foster care by adopting Lexy into their family. At 11 a.m. that day, they became one of 25 families in Westmoreland County to adopt a child in a group ceremony that highlighted November as National Adoption Month.
Before the decision to adopt Lexy was made, the Whipples met with all their children – Kathy, 26, Janet, 25, and Charles David, 23 – to discuss the matter. Everyone felt that adoption was something they all wanted. To determine how Lexy felt about adoption, they took her out to a restaurant and gently broke the idea to her.
“She was very positive about the proposal,” said Rev. Whipple. “When we told her we wanted her to become an official part of our family, tears ran down her face.”
To cement the father-daughter relationship, Rev. Whipple plans special events around dates like her birthday and takes her on family outings to places like Overly Country Christmas.
“In the short time Lexy’s been with us, she’s experienced quite a lot,” he said. “As a pastor, I get to travel quite a lot. Because I like to take my family with me, Lexy’s already been to Kentucky, New York, Ohio, Michigan and Indiana.”
As for Linda, she feels that being a foster mom is something she was meant to do. Although she grew up in a family of 10 children, her own mother provided foster care, and she and her husband are both committed to family values.
“I feel that being a foster parent is something I should be doing,” she said. “It’s a part of who I am. I like kids and like seeing them happy. Along the way, you can only hope that they’ve picked up on some of your values and go on to become productive, caring individuals.”