Survey: Men, women polarized in views on happy marriage
CHAPPAQUA, N.Y. (AP) – Love and sex are more important to a happy marriage for men in their late 50s and early 60s than at any other time in their lives, a new survey says. Unfortunately for them, that’s just when intimacy becomes less important to women. The survey, being published in the February issue of Reader’s Digest, found that between the ages of 57 and 64 men become more attentive to their wives while women find more goals outside of marriage.
“The guys are saying, “Now, I get it. I want more intimacy,”‘ said John Gottman, a marriage expert who analyzed polling data for the magazine. “And the women are saying, “Sorry, bub, I’ve already done that. I’ve got my own goals now.”‘
A 60-year-old New York woman in the survey said she was finally getting the chance to travel, but her retired husband didn’t want to. “What am I supposed to do? Stay home?” she asked. “Life’s too short.”
The nationwide telephone survey was conducted in June by the Ipsos-NPD research group, which randomly chose 500 married men and 500 married women, but no couples. Questions were designed to determine how happy their marriages were.
For both sexes, spending time alone together is more important after age 65 than in the first years of marriage.
Also, arguments no longer carry the sting they do for younger couples.
“We let off steam and then a few minutes later start talking to each other as if nothing happened,” said a 73-year-old woman from Connecticut. “Now that we’re older, we don’t hold a grudge.”
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On the Net: Reader’s Digest: http://www.rd.com