Reality marriage shows are basically designed to entertain the viewer
Dear Joy, I have been watching on television some of the reality shows which have focused on relationships. Apparently, I am not the only one who is watching, as the ratings for these shows have been very high.
On these shows, a man or a woman choose the love of their lives from a room full of strangers.
After a few episodes, the selected couple professes love and possible marriage and will supposedly ride off together into the sunset.
On one show, the parents pick the potential spouse for their child. And last night, I saw an advertisement for a reality show in which the audience picks the bride and groom.
Now, I realize that these shows are meant for entertainment purposes-and they certainly accomplish that-for I am hooked.
I know this is all pretend, but from some of the comments of participants, I worry how quickly people fool themselves into believing that their infatuation is true love.
I know that generations of infatuated couples have made successful unions but as many have had unsuccessful ones, too.
Last week, I watched the program in which the girl chooses from a roomful of good-looking men. One participant had the common sense to drop out before the girl whittled down to eight out of the 16 possible mates. He realized that she never talked to him alone and his chances were slim.
Another participant though, did not show such good judgment. The girl ignored him because he was a rodeo star and she is allergic to horses. Like a love sick dog, he was willing to sell his four horses and move to the city, if she would choose him! Not once, did he have a deep or meaningful conversation with her and it was obvious he just liked her looks and was deeply infatuated.
He was ready to throw away his livelihood and passion for a woman that he didn’t even know. She at least had the good sense not to choose him.
I am a little concerned that these shows promote “love at first sight.”
Young adults need to understand the difference between infatuation and true love.
True love will get you through the rough spots of life and marriage, but infatuation will just get you into bed and trouble. Been There, Done That.
Dear Been There,
You are right that these shows are meant for entertainment purposes.
I sincerely doubt that the desired end result-love and marriage-will be achieved by any of these couples, for the set-up is staged, conversation is awkward, and all participants have been taken out of their normal living environment. Worse yet, deep discussions about beliefs, future dreams, children, and finances aren’t even broached.
“Love at first sight” and speedy weddings have worked for some; but as a rule, dating with good conversation, is a crucial step that shouldn’t be skipped over in a relationship.
K. Joy Schaeffer is a bridal consultant. You can e-mail your bridal questions to: bridejoy@yahoo.com.