Mar 2, 2003 3 min read

Dear Joy, I have hired my mother-in-law’s best friend to cater my sister’s bridal shower. I have tasted her food and I am happy with the taste and quality of her menu.

Here’s the problem: she is very unreliable. I have heard stories about how she is always late and is always in a tizzy. My gut feeling was not to hire her, but my mother-in-law reassured me that her friend will come through for me. My mother-in-law insists that she will make sure that the food is delivered well before the event. I don’t like putting this pressure on her, but she did recommend her friend! How can I make sure she will be reliable? Denise

Dear Denise,

You can’t guarantee someone else’s reliability, nor can your mother-in-law. I suggest you insist on signing a formal contract with your caterer. If she is professional, she will accept the terms of the contract.

In a catering contract, the date and delivery time, menu and quantity of food, serving needs, and deposit must be stipulated. Make sure the contract has a protective clause for diminished services. Emphasize your concern regarding the delivery time and consider underlining it in the contract. If the shower starts at two in the afternoon, make sure the food is delivered by 1. If she fails to deliver, send members of the family (including your mother-in-law) to a nearby deli. If you had to make last minute purchases, refuse to accept her late delivery.

And here’s a word from the wise: never pay the total cost of the bill until your food has been delivered.

Dear Joy,

My wedding is planned for August. The reception hall is booked and most of the large details have been ironed out.

I have hit one major snag-my church will be going through a renovation.

I can’t get them to promise me the construction will be complete by my wedding date. I love our minister, but he is being vague and he isn’t very reassuring. My mother is desperate for us to be married in our church.

I am really worried that the scaffolding and paint buckets will be my church decorations and the sound of a buzz saw will be my wedding music.

What should I do about the wedding invitations and how should I proceed? Kate

Dear Kate,

You have a legitimate concern and I think you need to take a proactive approach. You cannot afford to wait and see what type of progress they make on the renovations. Ask your minister if he can officiate at nearby church of the same religious denomination.

Perhaps, one of his clergy colleagues can accommodate your wedding. As a back-up plan, another church may be able to pencil in your wedding on their calendar. If you cannot find another church location, your minister may be willing to perform your ceremony at a secular site, such as a reception hall, park, or private residence.

You should order your wedding invitations three months before the big day. At that time, you will need to make a definite decision about your ceremony location. If the renovations are still far from complete, go with your alternate location. Follow your alternate facility site guidelines, as you maintain good communication with your minister.

Wedding Quotation of the day… “I told someone I was getting married, and they said, ‘Have you picked a date yet?’

I said, “Wow, you can bring a date to your own wedding? What a country!” -Yakov Smirnoff

K. Joy Schaeffer is a bridal consultant. E-mail questions to bridejoy@yahoo.com