Second-time marriage can be as formal or informal as the couple chooses
Dear Joy: Please provide me with some guidance and/or do’s and don’ts for a second wedding.
It is the second time for both of us and my future husband has three girls.
So far, we have planned a private family wedding ceremony in the back yard of my parents, with a big bash schedule for the following Saturday. We want to keep it very casual.
Dear Bride:
Second weddings have increased in popularity and are often as extravagant as a first wedding.
Since you have already decided on a small private ceremony and a large reception to follow at a later date, you are essentially planning two separate events. So let’s take a look at the first event, the ceremony.
The ceremony is the most special aspect of a wedding and should be treated with reverence, even if it will be small and informal. If you treat the event as special, so will your guests.
An outdoor wedding ceremony is quite dependent upon the weather and natural light, so your wedding date and the time of the ceremony must be chosen with environmental factors in mind.
A small crowd of immediate family members can be moved inside if rain clouds appear, so you need to anticipate and be prepared for a weather emergency. I recommend that you determine a back-up area for the ceremony in your parent’s home.
You will also need to determine whether you will have attendants for a small ceremony, or just two witnesses.
If your ceremony is to be quite small, you may want the two official adult witnesses and his three girls as participants.
I always recommend that children of the couple be included in second wedding activities.
A backyard, second wedding ceremony is an informal affair and the dress should be appropriate for the occasion. However, your attire should not be too casual since the event is quite special.
Tuxedos and formal gowns should not be worn. A suit and tie for the groom, a lovely dress or suit for the bride, and pretty floral dresses for the girls would be appropriate for the occasion.
Shoes with sensible heels should be worn in a grassy backyard.
Flowers can be minimal if a backyard flower garden is within sight and in bloom.
Music can be taped, or the talent of a solo musician or singer can be shared.
Champagne and cake would be appropriate to celebrate the ceremony event.
A photographer and/or videographer should be on hand to capture the special moments at both events.
Your big bash the following Saturday, can be a fun and casual event.
Your reception location will help dictate exactly how casual your party can be. A more formal hotel or restaurant venue would not reflect the casual atmosphere you desire.
If you have the reception in a large hall, you can decorate the room with a theme that expresses your interests or reflect your personality.
Decorations, invitations, the cake, the music, and the food should fit the occasion and the casual style you wish to reflect.
Your choices need to mirror the mood you wish to create, since a sit-down dinner is not as casual as a buffet, and a string quartet is more high-brow than a DJ.
For example, if you wish to have a country western theme reception, you would need to ask your guests to wear their jeans, boots and hats; serve barbeque, beer and lemonade; play country music tunes; and send out invitations that reflect your theme.
K. Joy Schaeffer is a bridal consultant. You can
e-mail her your bridal questions at bridejoy@yahoo.com