Sharing banquet facility for a wedding has it ups and downs
Dear Joy, I attended an out-of-state wedding for the son of a friend. The reception was held at a large facility. At the time, there were two wedding receptions that were held on the premises. Both banquet rooms shared common restroom facilities and a lobby.
During the middle of the reception, a fight broke out in the men’s room between guests from both wedding parties. Apparently, a guest from one group was drunk and was rude to a guest from the other.
The fight spilled out into the lobby and many guests from both sides began to brawl. The police were called, tuxedos and gowns were torn, noses were bloodied, and even a bridesmaid was arrested.
I have heard that civil lawsuits have been filed-so the nightmare and animosity will continue for quite awhile. I just wanted to share this unimaginable wedding nightmare with your readers. Paul
Dear Paul,
When you share a banquet facility with another wedding party, or two, you take a chance that their guests may not be as well mannered or behaved as your own. It is quite difficult to control the drinking of guests, especially guests that you haven’t invited!
Couples in search of a reception venue need to find out if they will be sharing the facilities with another party. If so, they need to be assured that bartenders are professional and cautious, and will refuse to serve a guest who appears inebriated. A security guard on the premises is also another helpful measure. If the reception venue does not provide security assurance, a couple may want to hire an off-duty police officer or a security guard to patrol the premises.
Dear Joy,
Last month, I inquired about our photo disaster when it included stepchildren, since then, I have talked with friends and found out this has happened to them. Maybe you could generalize on the proper etiquette when including/not including stepfamily, parents, children, grandchildren and girlfriends/boyfriends of siblings in the family photos. This seems to be a subject many encounter and we all want the wedding day to be memorable. Maybe others can be helped by our miscues. Curious
Dear Curious,
Formal wedding photos typically include the bridal couple along with:
Wedding officiant
Wedding party participants-without their spouse or date.
Parents-a separate photo with the bride’s parents and the groom’s parents.
Grandparent generational photo which includes their adult child and spouse (the parents of the bride or groom)
Siblings and their spouses and children.
If the parents are divorced and on bad terms, they should not be included in the same photo. If the parents are remarried, they should pose with their new spouse. Half- brothers and sisters, and stepchildren and stepparents should never be eliminated from photos, as they should be treated as full-fledged family members.
Aunts, uncles and cousins do not need to pose in formal pictures unless they are participants in the wedding.
Girlfriends and boyfriends of siblings should not be included in formal pictures unless they are official wedding party participants.
It is best to have more candid photos of family members and friends, since they are less contrived and are more natural.
The reception is the perfect time to have family and friends photographed in a more relaxed environment.
Candid photos of special groupings of family and friends around a dinner table or on the dance floor can be done at the reception and will look less intentional and exclusive.
K. Joy Schaeffer is a bridal consultant. You can e-mail her your bridal questions at bridejoy@yahoo.com.