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Children dream of an ideal father

By The Rev. Alexander Jalso 4 min read

Scripture reading: Colossians 3:18-25. Text: “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. ‘Honor your father and mother’ is the first commandment with a promise ‘that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth. FATHERS, DO NOT EXASPERATE YOUR CHILDREN; INSTEAD, BRING THEM UP IN THE TRAINING AND INSTRUCTION OF THE LORD.” Ephesians 6:1-4. In our scripture reading, we learn about a short summary of the rules of a Christian household. We read almost the same in Ephesians 6:1-9, the first part of which is our text.

As we celebrate Father’s Day and express our gratitude to our fathers, appreciating their hard work, wise counsel and protective love, obviously a child, especially sons, view his/her father differently as he/she is growing up. This has happened quite often: at six years of age the father is the greatest daddy on earth; at sixteen, he is old fashioned and way behind our times and cannot understand the modern generation; at about fifty, why did he die, he knew so much.

A child’s first impression about his/her father comes quite early, starting at age 3 or 4. After this, the children have their first image of their father. The youngsters feel the great difference between themselves and their parents and how they depend on the motherly love and the fatherly care. Let us see, what would be the ideal father for a youngster whose mind just started to develop? How would kids set up the steps for a wonderful daddy whom they can really love?

DADDY SHOULD BE THE BIOLOGICAL FATHER AND HAPPILY MARRIED TO MOTHER. One of the greatest gifts a father can give to his children is to love and respect their mother. Usually students who excel in school come from a stable family where there is peace, harmony and love between husband and wife, children and parents. Fear can do more damage to a young child’s mind than we think; a child’s ego, ambition and self-esteem can be ruined for good by unjust, strict and harsh treatment.

A CHILD EXPECTS HIS/HER DADDY TO BE A CARING AND PROVIDING FATHER. It is not necessary that a child’s bedroom should be full of toys, or in the case of a girl, the closet full of dresses, but having a sufficient supply of food in the refrigerator and a warm home during the cold winter months is necessary for a child. Not buying a new toy, but repairing the old broken one is more impressive. In the case of an accident possibly involving cuts, bruises, bumps or sibling arguments help and understanding are more curative than criticism, blame and punishment.

OUR DADDY SHOULD BE A PATIENT, LOVING AND SPIRITUAL FATHER. Nothing hurts a child more than unjust punishment. Yes, the father can be in a bad mood, may have to hurry to attend a meeting or has tough problems to solve and his mind is occupied by serious thoughts when a crying baby comes along with some “silly stuff.” The gentlest answer in this case is: “Go and see your mother.” When the little angel with crocodile tears in his/her eyes wants to be picked up, allow them to hear comforting words vindicating that serious argument over a toy or candy. A father should not send his children to church, but take them. It is not only the mother’s duty to pray with their son or daughter.

A FATHER SHOULD SYMBOLIZE THE TWO-FOLD SONSHIP. The best way to teach your children how they should treat their parents is to set the example, namely when they see how their father treats grandpa and grandma. At last but not least, children also should sense that their father is the child of our heavenly Father. What a difference there is between these two statements from a father: “I will show you and you will learn it” and “If the good Lord will bless us we will do it.” If a father expects total obedience from his children, he should also show obedience to God.

Please do not remind your children frequently how much worry they create and how much they cost, because Apostle Paul is correct in this respect also: “After all, children should not have to save up for their parents, but parents for their children.” 2 Corinthians 12:14/b. It can refer to both a nest egg for the future and spiritual treasure for eternity.

The Rev. Alexander Jalso is a retired United Presbyterian minister living in Brownsville.

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