Dear Annie
Dear Annie: “Steve” and I have been happily married for 15 years. We both love children and dreamed of someday having a large family. However, after several years of trying to conceive, we sought medical help and were told Steve has a sperm motility problem. We were told our chances of becoming pregnant were very low. Fertility treatments are expensive, and there is no guarantee they will work, so we decided to accept the prognosis and build a happy life together, just the two of us. Miraculously, five years ago, we got pregnant and now have a wonderful little boy. We haven’t given up on the possibility of another miracle, but we know our chances are slim, and we are so grateful for our son.
The problem is Steve’s sister. “Gina” has tormented us about children since we married, and even though we have a child now, she’s gotten worse. Recently, she has started encouraging our son to “ask Mommy when she’s going to give you a baby sister or brother.” I’ve told Gina on several occasions that we have trouble conceiving, yet she persists. I think she’s doing this just to hurt me. If she knew the problem was with Steve, I know she’d stop, but Steve doesn’t want anyone to know.
What Gina doesn’t realize is that Steve’s resentment toward her grows with every rude and hurtful comment. He avoids being around her and encourages me to do the same. Avoiding her helps, but it doesn’t make me feel very good to treat her that way. Any advice? – Steve’s Wife
Dear Wife: Steve should be the one to tell Gina to knock it off because her comments are hurtful. If she won’t stop, he has the right idea.
You should not have to spend time with someone who is determined to make you miserable. She has chosen this path, and it’s her loss.
Dear Annie: My best friend, “Marcia,” asked me to be her roommate, and I reluctantly said yes. We’re in our early 20s, and our apartment is amazing. The problem is, Marcia is financially unstable.
Since we moved in together, Marcia has quit several lousy jobs and spends money faster than she makes it. I often have to pay more than my share of the rent (sometimes all of it) because she’s broke. Then she buys me gifts to apologize. When I confront her about money, she swears she’s “fine” and I shouldn’t worry so much.
Marcia eventually pays me back, but she’s soon in debt again. I don’t want this to end our friendship, but I can’t take it anymore. I’m not a bank. I also love my apartment and don’t want to move. What can I do? – Money Lender in Kansas
Dear Kansas: You need to be honest with Marcia and tell her that the constant money lending is putting a crimp in your relationship and making it hard for you to remain roommates. Tell her if she can’t control her finances sufficiently to keep current with her bills, you will not room with her after the lease is up. If you want to keep the apartment, approach your landlord and tell him you are interested in renewing the lease on your own.
Dear Annie: I read the letter from “Gorilla Warfare” and had to write. He needs to buy a clipper like his barber has. It costs around $40. These clippers come with attachments that are all numbered for size and are foolproof. I take the No. 2 clip and buzz my husband’s back hair, chest hair and so on. It takes out all the bulk, but still looks natural. When he goes to the gym or pool, we buzz it down as needed. It makes a big difference, and it is so simple. – Barber for 20 Years
Dear Barber: Thanks for the recommendation.
If our readers opt to shave their hairy backs and chests, or even their scalps, this is the way to go.
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Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailbox comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, P.O. Box 118190, Chicago, IL 606