Feb 2, 2007 3 min read

Look at you, silly goose! No, no.

Look. Over here.

What are you, blind as a bat? You almost overlooked this book review. Not to be catty, but I worked like a dog to write this column and you’re going to sit there, quiet as a mouse, aren’t you?

Wait, you must be hungry as a bear. That could be why you’re here. What I wouldn’t give to be a fly on a wall in your house.

People throw the phrase “poor dumb animal” around, but just how dumb are the critters that share our planet? In the new book “Why Pandas Do Handstands” by Augustus Brown, you’ll see that it’s a fascinating furred, finned, and feathered world.

You know that critter you live with?

No, not the two-legged one. The critter with fur. The dog or cat or ferret. Would you believe that your pets – all animals, in fact – have rich and unique lives?

Take, for instance, a creature you see pretty much every day but bear-ly notice any more: birds. Did you know that Papa tropical wrens pass on songs to their sons, while Mama wrens give their daughters special tweets? Did you know that mice sing? So do fish, frogs and dogs. Whales and dolphins whistle, as do rats and woodchucks. It’s a noisy world out there, isn’t it?

You probably feed your pup dog food. Your kitty gets cat food and even cows get special dinners. Did you know that termites love plastic garbage bags? The kea from New Zealand enjoys eating rubber, according to folklore. Elephants love salt so much they’ll go mining for it. But here’s a reason you shouldn’t go for sweets: mosquitoes carrying malaria have been known to go on a sugar binge.

Some fish can alternate between being male or female. Certain species of owl use snakes as babysitters. Hardworking honeybees can literally wear out their wings when retrieving food. Beavers create waterparks, moose surf, and ermine love to toboggan. And some hares are just a hair smarter than their pursuers.

Feeling like a birdbrain when it comes to animals? “Why Pandas Do Handstands” is a fun book that will teach you all sorts of little-known tidbits about all sorts of creatures. Like most trivia-type books, this one is easy to read, easy to grab, and you don’t have to try to remember a whole cast of characters. In short, it’s a nice diversion when you want something to clear your literary palate.

My only complaint is that there is no index. If, for instance, you wanted to know more about octopi, you would have to skim through page after page in search of a few words about the deep-sea denizens. A glossary of geese, an index with ibex, a listing of llamas would’ve been more than bear-able.

Don’t let a little lack of knowledge make a monkey out of you. Pick up “Why Pandas Do Handstands” and read it. Heck, dog-ear the pages if you want. This is a book you’ll enjoy, and I’m not lion.