Feb 4, 2007 5 min read

Dear Joy, I am planning a 60th anniversary celebration for my parents. It is still almost a year away, but I could use some suggestions to get started. I booked a room at a local hotel in their town and am working on the guest list, menus, etc. It will not be a surprise, so they can help me with addresses and details.

Do I need to send “save the date” cards since it will be between Christmas and New Years, or can my parents just let the guests know by word of mouth?

I really need ideas to make it a fun celebration. How do I address the issue of gifts? Because they are 80+, this is a time they are eliminating possessions; however, gift certificates for stores or services would be appreciated. I am hoping guests will ask for suggestions when they RSVP to me, but is there a correct way to say this on an invitation?

Also, should I ask for a clause in the contract to address issues like a huge snowstorm, or if something should happen to one of my parents between now and then? Thank you for your guidance. Sign me, Plan Ahead.

Dear Plan Ahead,

Please extend my congratulations to your parents, for it is quite a remarkable accomplishment.

I suggest you send out a “save the date” card a few months before you send an actual invitation, especially since your event is during the holidays, and many seniors head south during the winter months. The smaller the guest list, the smaller the concern regarding the “save the date” issue, though, since word of mouth is usually sufficient to relay the date of a future event.

Gift cards and cash appear to be the gift of choice for many anniversary celebrations, especially since it is quick and easy, and usually the perfect fit for a difficult-to-buy-for couple. Despite this trend, though, some invitees will choose to purchase a memento to fit the occasion. You should not mention gift preferences on an invitation. However, if someone asks, it is more than appropriate to make a suggestion.

Speak with the hotel about their cancellation policy. Typically, deposits are not returned and last minute cancellations usually have severe financial penalties. A wise option is to check into event insurance with your local property and casualty agent. Some policies may cover weather and health-related cancellations.

Unfortunately, your concern over your parents’ potential health is another issue that may require some early planning restraint. For this unfortunate reason, I suggest you slow down on major purchases until the event is closer at hand. Do not purchase invitations until just before they need to be addressed and mailed. Keep purchases to a minimum until you are assured the event will occur as planned.

Try to invite original wedding party participants, assuming they are well and physically capable of attending the event. Honor them with corsages and boutonni?res to commemorate the event. And don’t forget to have them photographed with the anniversary couple!

Decorate with the colors of the long-ago wedding, and try to mimic some of the details, such as similar flower arrangements and music. Be sure to have your musicians or DJ play big band music of the 40’s era to help bring all of your senior guests down memory lane. A dance instructor can be hired to teach 40’s dance routines to members of the younger generation in attendance.

If your parent’s were married by a religious celebrant, they may want to have a special blessing at the event. Contact their current religious officiant and request his or her participation.

Paper and pen, left at each table, can be utilized by the guests to share their memories of the couple. Often, these memory notes are collected and assembled (at a later date) in a scrapbook for the anniversary couple.

Memorabilia can be dug out to help commemorate the event, too. A quick look online will stimulate your imagination and provide you with enormous possibilities.

For example, you can purchase a vintage 1947 Life magazine, and display some of the pages. Historical facts, such as Oscar winning movies, political events, and the year’s bestselling books, can be shared in an anniversary program or on a picture display board. All of these facts can help jog the memory and stimulate discussion amongst your guests.

Pre-printed name tags for the guests can be quite helpful for all guests, but most especially for those whose memory is beginning to lessen.

Try to discover the year the guest met the couple, and add that to the bottom of the name tag, i.e., “Jane Doe, friend since 1941” or “Bob Smith, college roommate, Notre Dame 1942”.

If you can dig out your mother’s wedding gown and veil from a hope chest, be sure to display it along with a special table display of wedding pictures, photos of family and friends, and candid shots of homes, pets, and vacations.

To aid in viewing, though, be sure they are all labeled with dates and names of participants. All of these mementos will help your parents rekindle memories of their 60-year marriage, and at the same time, provide visual interest for your guests.

K. Joy Schaeffer is a bridal consultant. You may e-mail her your bridal questions at bridejoy@yahoo.com.