Feb 16, 2007 By Paul Sunyak 4 min read

HARRISBURG – House Democratic Leader H. William DeWeese said he is doing away with all spending on meals from taxpayer-funded accounts that he controls, including eliminating his own meals with staff and constituents. Meanwhile, on the floor of the Pennsylvania House of Representatives, two Democrats are having a conversation …

“Man, what a morning. All this talk about reform has me plumb tuckered out. Even I had to stand up and pay homage to the concept. I’m famished. Thank goodness lunch should be arriving any moment. Seen the caterer yet?”

“Uh, no. Are you serious, though?”

“Serious as a $1,900 fruit and sandwich platter. Man, my stomach’s growling. Hey, Bill, where’s the beef?”

“Uh, you didn’t read the paper this week, did you?”

“No. I was too busy shoveling snow. And thinking about how I could sound like I support reforms while finding some plausible reason to vote against them. Did I miss anything? You know, I could have a better conversation on a full stomach.”

“Ah, if you want that, I’d suggest that you head on down to the Capitol cafeteria.”

“And wait in line with everyone else, including regular working folk? C’mon, what do you think I am, a reporter? I’m a state legislator. And a starving one at that. What’s taking the caterer so long? Do you think she got snowed in or something?”

“Mmmm … not exactly. But she won’t be coming today; of that I’m certain.”

“Why not? Oh my God! Did someone write a story saying she mysteriously got a secret bonus, too?”

“No, it’s nothing like that. You see, the free meals have been cancelled.”

“Cancelled? Darn that Ed Rendell; why would the governor push through something like that? Wait till I see him again … I’m going to give him a piece of my mind. He expects me to vote for his whole package of tax increases, then he turns around and literally takes bread out of my mouth.”

“Hold off. It wasn’t Ed who did the canceling. It was Bill.”

“Bill? What guy named Bill works for the governor?”

“It wasn’t anybody who works for the governor. Or even a Republican. They’re still chowing down on the taxpayer dime while they ‘study’ the issue. The guy who cancelled our free meals was Bill DeWeese.”

“What a coincidence. You know, our party leader is also named Bill DeWeese. So where does this other Bill DeWeese work? I want to see if we can cut his department’s budget. That’ll teach him to mess with House Democrats.”

“Ah, there’s only one Bill DeWeese. And it’s the same one who cut out our catered meals, as a reform measure.”

“Ha! That’s a good one. Our Bill DeWeese eliminating a perk. Man, that’s hilarious. If I weren’t so hungry, I’d ask you to tell me another joke. Next you’ll be telling me that Bill DeWeese plans to cosponsor Tim Mahoney’s open records legislation.”

“I’m not joking. He really did it. Our Bill DeWeese cancelled our free lunches.”

“What? You’re serious, aren’t you? What the heck does he expect us to do now?”

“Apparently, he expects us to pay for our own meals out of the $148 per diem we get to cover food and lodging for each day we’re working in Harrisburg, in addition to our regular salaries.”

“But I’ve been using that money to save up for a new car. Not for work use, mind you; I’m still using state money to pay for my $650-a-month legislative vehicle lease. Hey, you don’t think Bill will take that perk away, too, do you?”

“I don’t know. He has been acting a little funny lately. I noticed the change back in early November. Seems like he hasn’t quite been his usual self since then. He’s been doing some crazy things, like actually appointing some reformers to the Speaker’s Reform Commission.”

“Wow. You think he might be sick or something?”

“Don’t know. But I wouldn’t press him too much on the catered meals issue. It’s hard to tell what he might do next.”

“Yeah, if we make too big of a stink, maybe he’ll give up his chauffeur and then challenge us to give up our state cars. Hey, want to walk with me to the cafeteria for lunch? I’ll buy if you’ll wait in line with the common folk! Just kidding.”

Paul Sunyak is editorial page editor of the Herald-Standard. He can be reached at 724-439-7577 or begin psunyak@heraldstandard.com psunyak@heraldstandard.com end

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