Devising the guest list is a necessary step in the early planning stages
Dear Joy, I am getting married this September and I have started making my guest list. I would like to invite past co-workers to my wedding but have not seen or spoken to them for awhile. I know that they would come, but I would like them to just come and celebrate with me without feeling obligated to bring a gift. What would be the proper way to invite them, or should I just not invite them? Thank you, September Bride.
Dear September Bride,
By all means invite them, just as you would any guest. Leave the gift matter out of the invitation. They can make their own decision as to whether they want to attend, and give you a gift.
Dear Readers,
If you recall, previous columns have been devoted to the initial stages of planning a wedding. The September Bride’s question segues to the next planning topic that I would like to address – devising the guest list.
Devising the guest list is a necessary step in the early planning stages. Early guest list determination, not only helps the couple get a handle on budget planning but also reveals choices and limitations.
Without a ball-park guest count figure, it is not only difficult to determine budget and formality but also to choose reception and ceremony site venues. For this reason, let’s look at who should be included:
The first names on the guest list usually include members of the immediate family, such as parents, siblings and their spouses. Nieces and nephews, grandparents, aunts and uncles are included, too.
First cousins and their spouses, usually make the list. Second and third cousins, might not, if there are space and budget restrictions.
Of course, you will want to include friends, too. If they are married, engaged or co-habitating, you need to invite their significant other. Wedding party participants should also be allowed to bring a guest.
Inviting co-workers can be quite subjective, and is usually determined by the couples’ years of employment, department size, and work situation. For example, a teacher may find it cost prohibitive to invite the entire faculty of her school. Whereas, a small businessman may feel that he should invite his three devoted employees, along with their spouses.
Hard as it might be, the list usually needs to be trimmed, especially after you begin to count up your bowling teammates and your fianc?’s softball team.
This can be difficult, especially if one teammate is considered to be a close friend. This difficulty can lead to an “all or nothing” approach when inviting a group of teammates or co-workers.
Parent’s work colleagues or business acquaintances can usually be eliminated if the list is too long.
Neighbors who receive a quick wave, but are not emotionally attached to the couple can also be left from the list.
And a final suggestion: The wedding couple, and their parents, should not feel obligated to reciprocate wedding invitations to people whose weddings they have been invited. If necessary, couples should get the word out – early in the process – that the guest list needed to be limited.
K. Joy Schaeffer is a bridal consultant. You can e-mail her your bridal questions at bridejoy@yahoo.com.