Jul 10, 2007 By John Grogan, Performed Neil Patrick Harris 3 min read

Here’s a good question for you: if you’ve got a pet, how well does he behave? When you take your dog out on his leash, who walks whom? Does your kitty claw the cushions? Has your hamster had good manners? Is your horse well-known for horsing around?

You’ll never complain about your pet when you listen to “Marley: A Dog Like No Other” by John Grogan. Your dog, cat, or horse is an angel compared to the dog you’ll hear about.

When John Grogan and his wife, Jenny, decided that they need practice for future parenting, they figured a puppy would be the way to go. The small yellow lab they adopted was barely bigger than a couple handfuls on that first night.

But he grew quickly.

And he grew.

And he grew.

Before long, Marley the dog was bigger than the average kid. He was, in fact, almost bigger than two kids. He had huge paws, a huge head, and a huge appetite, both for food and for trouble.

An obedience-school drop-out, Marley was terrified of thunderstorms and was known for destroying entire rooms when the skies boomed. His Labrador retriever tail could clear a table in a flash. He chewed up anything he could get in his mouth, and it didn’t matter if the object was a cheap toy or a valuable piece of jewelry. But the Grogan family, which eventually included three kids, loved Marley very much. They overlooked his faults and celebrated his goofiness.

But everyone knows that cute little yellow puppies become old yellow dogs. When John discovered that Marley was losing his hearing and not feeling well, he feared the future for his canine buddy.

Parents, please understand that I spent a great deal of time rolling my eyes and sighing heavily as I listened to this audio CD. First of all, why do authors think they need to use the words “poop” and “pee” over and over in order to entertain kids? True, young children think that stuff is funny at first, but the blatant overuse of canine potty habits in this CD gets to be more – way more – than a little much.

Secondly, do we need another “version” of this near-classic story? First, it came out in regular old book form. Last year, it was re-released with “illustrations” (and pretty much the same darn text). And now this. The thing is, while this audio book is targeted to kids ages 8-12, the language here has not been truly kid-ized, but merely re-arranged to include more references to – guess what? – bodily elimination.

If your child is old enough to handle hearing about the sad death of a beloved family dog, then go buy him or her the real, grown-up audio of Grogan’s best-selling book and skip this thinly-veiled children’s “version”. “Marley: A Dog Like No Other” in audio form is tedious for parents who will have to listen to it in the car or van, and the language in here will have most young dog lovers howling with frustration.