Jun 10, 2007 4 min read

Dear Readers: Another reader had difficulty with postage and invitations. Her experience is worth sharing:

Dear Joy,

I, too, had issues with the invitation/stamps for a wedding; however, I wanted to let everyone know it can happen with vendor-made invitations too.

After my invitations were made, I bought “Hershey-Kiss” stamps (thinking how cute) only to find out they needed an additional 13 cents of postage.

Like your reader, I had to add a flag stamp, and the ugly clock (green) stamp. I was also upset that I had to place these ugly stamps (all different colors) on my envelope, and asked if the envelopes could be run through the postage meter instead. The answer was “no.”

After I placed these three stamps on, I took them to post office and left them in a box to be mailed. When I came home that evening, there was a message on my machine to contact the post office. They wanted additional postage.

I told them the envelope was weighed, and that I purchased and used the stamps they suggested. I was horrified to think I was going to need to place another stamp on those envelopes.

Thankfully, the woman working in the post office went to bat for me and said it was not my fault if the scale was off in another post office branch, so they allowed them to go through. I later was told, “It’s a shame you didn’t know ahead of time that extra postage was needed, because we have a real pretty stamp for that total amount you have placed on the envelope.”

My advice to readers is to take your filled cards to the post office, and check before you place any stamps on them. Sign me, Just As Irritated!

Dear JAI,

According to the local postal employee at my post office, some response envelopes are too small to fit in their postal machines. As a result, they need an extra handling charge to process (currently, 17 cents in additional stamps).

Out of curiosity, I brought one to her counter and she measured it. It was merely a 1/4 of an inch too small, and the tip didn’t fit within their measurement parameters for the postal machine.

Thank you for sharing your experience. I thought it was just a common problem for invitation kits, and didn’t realize that it is even happening with vendor-made invitations.

Dear Joy,

My husband has a number of first cousins in our area, and some who live out of town. Some of the first cousins do not even know our daughter who is to be married this year. My husband does, however, keep in touch with some of them.

For example, one family has five first cousins, but only one of them is close to my husband. We plan on inviting his aunt and uncle, but is it proper to invite only the one cousin to the wedding and not the other four? Since they are not close, I feel awkward inviting them, as to me it seems like I’m only asking for a gift. Thanks for your help. Sign me, Cousin.

Dear Cousin,

The standard rule of thumb when dealing with a particular group of relatives is to either invite them all, or exclude them entirely. With that said though, each family situation is quite subjective, so it is difficult to handle this with an all or nothing approach.

To me, your decision should be based on two things: family tradition and the emotional dynamic of the family.

Does his family have a history of inviting the whole family to events? Is there tension between the siblings, and frequent arguments? If your answer is “yes” to both of these questions, I suggest you invite them all.

Then it is up to them as to whether they want to attend, and/or send a present.

K. Joy Schaeffer is a bridal consultant. You can e-mail her your bridal questions, comments, wedding ideas, or personal wedding experiences to bridejoy@yahoo.com.