Metronome training facility in the works
I want to build a metronome training facility. You know, to teach people how to use the little devise practicing musicians use to keep a steady beat or tempo. Why do I want to do this? Because I heard from the National Musician Metronome Training Association, or NMMTA, that they might consider leaving their current headquarters in some other state (I don’t know which one, nor do I really care).
I know this because I called the NMMTA and asked someone, “Hey, do you plan on staying where you are forever?” and their answer was, “Well, I wouldn’t necessarily say that. I mean, we might consider moving someday.”
To me, that obviously meant one thing: The NMMTA is itching to move. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that the move is probably imminent. I had to spring into action with a plan, before some other region or state beat me to the punch.
So I scribbled out a drawing of my “Metronome Village,” a musician training facility where all the buildings – headquarters, dormitories, concert halls – are shaped like a metronome, which means they look like big triangles. Pretty neat, huh?
All I needed from that point was one thing: A ton of state and federal money to make my plan a reality. I mean, you really don’t think I would sink my own money into something like this, do you? But I reasoned that if some desperate state government was willing to foot the bill under the banner of “economic development,” what did I have to lose?
But in order to get the ball rolling, I needed letters of support, which really don’t mean much except to say to some federal or state bureaucrat, “We think this is a serious project, so give us some money so we can see what might happen.”
I figured that if I got letters of support from three or four people, that would be enough, so I solicited them from those who I knew would be willing to affix their signatures to whatever words I’d written. I also knew they could be trusted not to say anything, unless it came up around election time, when I was pretty sure they’d say their involvement showed strong support for the community.
I’ve been around Fayette County long enough to know that even if I got enough grant money for a metronome training facility feasibility study, I’d be better off than when I started. Knowing that I’d get to skim 15 to 20 percent of the grant off the top for “administrative” costs, I decided to start my own nonprofit corporation, The Fayette County Metronome Development Citizens Alliance (TFCMDCA).
Technically, we’re still a nonprofit corporation, which doesn’t mean that we can’t make money or pay ourselves handsome salaries or take perks like a company car. We can do all that and more; we just can’t show a “profit” at the end of the year, because we’re a “nonprofit.” But we can own assets like buildings and maintain a healthy cash balance.
My goal, however, is to make Fayette County the “metronome capital of the state,” with hopes of employing 200 people within three years and attracting $1 million in tourist spending.
Wait, scratch that. Make it “metronome capital of the nation,” 500 employees and $5 million in tourism spending. That sounds better.
But not as good as this, now that I think about it:”Metronome capital of the world,” 10,000 employees and $200 million in tourism spending.
All I need now is for that state and federal money to start pouring in.
Paul Sunyak is Herald-Standard editorial page editor. Reach him at 724-439-7577 or psunyak@heraldstandard.com