May 14, 2007 By Colleen Curran 3 min read

Maybe you knew it was coming. When he showed up with a ring, when he asked you to be his wife, you thought, “Yes. I knew we’d be married someday.”

But now – months, maybe years later – you’re still engaged; in fact, you’ve never really set a date. What is it about weddings that makes us happy-scared, like taking on a big, fast, terrifying amusement park ride for the first time?

In the new book “Altared”, edited by Colleen Curran, you’ll read the thoughts of several women writers who took the plunge. You’ll see that you’re not the only one with slightly cool feet when it comes to weddings.

In her foreword, author Curran says when people asked her when she was getting married, she always replied, “Spring.” Spring seemed comfortably far away, she says. She was happy; her fiancé, Francis, was happy. Why change things, just for the sake of a ceremony?

But get married they did, in the garden of their home, surrounded by loved ones. That made Curran wonder if this near-ambivalence toward weddings was just inside herself, or if other women had similar takes on white dresses and sentimental vows. She asked several women whose writing styles she admired, and they poured out their lace-wrapped hearts in story and cartoon.

Starting with the planning and ending with Happily Ever After, you’ll read about reluctant meltdowns and a bride who cried on the fire escape because she wanted a marriage but not a wedding. You’ll sympathize with the bride who was always a wedding guest and never the wedding’s main reason – until now – and it was as wonderful as she always imagined.

You’ll read about fighting fathers and meddling mothers; you’ll smile at a writer who created a novel husband who showed up on her doorstep; you’ll read about a bride who eschewed “traditional” dress but – despite herself – fell in love with the dreaded white pouf, sequins and lace; and you’ll read about a sumptuously “perfect” wedding, complete with elephants and fire-breathers at the threshold of a palace, and the bride’s recollection of the arranged marriage that ended in dying embers of loneliness.

In a culture where 90% of us are married at least once but 50% of marriages end in divorce, “Altared” is a refreshing entry into the dozens of bridal guides that hit the market every year. Far from an anti-bride guide, this book is for the future Mrs. who wondered if she Missed the whole point of getting married. Author Colleen Curran’s story, and that of the other writers, is meant for the woman who wants to be The Bride but doesn’t want all the pouf and lace and frippery, and can’t quite believe she’s the only one who feels that way.

If it’s true what they say about May flowers bringing June brides, then this book is one every future-white-and-lace-clad woman should read before getting to the church on time. “Altared” might not make you altar your plans, but it might give you some marzipan-frosted food for thought.