May 20, 2007 3 min read

Dear Joy, Who pays for the limo for the wedding party? My son is getting married soon, and he says everyone in the wedding party should chip in for wedding expenses.

His sister, brother, nephew and brother-in-law are part of the wedding group. Already my daughter is into this about $400 just for her -not including her husband and son.

I was informed that I should pay the DJ, plus the rehearsal dinner and liquor. The parents are only paying for a limited number of dinners. I don’t mind paying for the DJ but I’m confused about the limo. Widowed Mother of the Groom

Dear Widowed Mother of the Groom,

Traditionally the bride’s family pays for any rented transportation. Though in your situation, it sounds as if the bride’s family (and the groom) expects a more sizeable contribution to the wedding from the groom’s side.

I disagree with your son that “everyone in the wedding party should chip in.” Sure, wedding party participants should purchase their own wedding garments and accessories, a gift for the couple, and contribute to a bridal shower or bachelor party. However, any other contribution to additional wedding costs should be voluntary and not expected or required.

Did he want them to “chip in” for additional wedding costs? Your daughter, son-in-law and nephew’s wedding garments will be a significant expenditure for their family and they should not be expected to contribute to any other wedding expenses.

Joy’s Bridal Tip:

Wedding budgets create the highest level of anxiety in wedding planning. “Who pays for what?” is the big question everyone asks after the date has been set. Is it fair that the bride’s family has to pay the majority of expenses for a wedding? Ask a father of two or three girls.

Today’s trend is for the bridal couple to contribute more to the wedding budget. Why? Because today’s couples are marrying at a more mature age; are usually established professionally; may already have a household set-up if they are living together; but most importantly, want to be in control of the wedding planning process.

Traditionally, the bride and her family paid for: the wedding gown and accessories, the reception (including rental, food and drink), flowers for the ceremony and reception, invitations, photographer, videographer, musicians, wedding cake, gifts for the groom and bridesmaids, the bride’s physical and blood test, and the groom’s wedding ring.

The groom and his family would pay for: the rental of formal wear, the bride’s engagement and wedding ring, the marriage license, the officiant’s fee, the rehearsal dinner, boutonnieres for the men, corsages for the mothers and grandmothers, the bride’s bouquet, the groom’s physical and blood test, and honeymoon expenses.

Wedding party participants usually pay for wedding attire, including accessories such as shoes and headpieces, a gift for the bride and groom, and transportation to an out-of-town wedding site.

Just because it has been tradition that the bride’s family pays for the majority of wedding expenses, this concept should not be cast in stone. Consideration of the participating family’s financial situation, and their potential contribution, should be weighed before wedding planning.

K. Joy Schaeffer is a bridal consultant. You can e-mail her your bridal questions at bridejoy@yahoo.com.