Dads Matter initiative started in county
Former Pittsburgh Steeler and Super Bowl champion Robin Cole said, “When I think about my father, he was a guy who never quit and taught me right from wrong.’ Cole’s father worked full-time and ran his own auto-body business as well, raising a large family and challenging his son at an early age to “become a young man.’ His father died from cancer at age 49 and Cole and his three brothers later developed prostate cancer in their 40s. To raise awareness of health issues for men, the family recently formed a foundation in honor of their father.
Dr. Jeffrey M. Johnson, president and CEO of National Partnership for Community Leadership, said, “I had two lovely parents in my life for 12 years – my father died at age 39 of lung cancer. I’m a month away from 51 and I can’t imagine my life without my father.’
Something that carried Johnson over the years since his father died was the way his mother – who still lives today – continues to revere his father’s memory.
“The bottom line is I never heard my mother say a negative word about my father. I knew everything wasn’t rosy but she had enough discretion – she knew it was better to talk about my father in a positive way,’ he said. “And I thought maybe if I could be a good dad, maybe my wife would talk that way about me. That was something to strive for.’
These two keynote speakers shared personal stories about their fathers and their own experiences as parents in Uniontown on Saturday at Cherry Tree Alliance Church at the kickoff of a new initiative called Dads Matter of Fayette County.
With no income guidelines, the program is open to anyone who is a father, expectant father, grandfather, stepfather or father figure in a child’s life.
The program is sponsored by the Private Industry Council of Westmoreland/Fayette Inc. and funded by a grant from the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Administration for Children and Families, Office of Family Assistance.
“Dads do matter. We want to take that message and establish it in our community,’ said Bill Huebner, Dads Matter program supervisor. “…Research shows that dads play a vital role in the lives of their children.’
Saturday’s program was called “On the Road to Responsible Fatherhood’ and is the first of several special programs planned for the year. In addition, Dads Matter sponsors parenting classes for men. Two sessions are taking place in Uniontown, and Huebner said they are willing to offer classes wherever there is an interest.
The Rev. Jack Herman, pastor of Cherry Tree, offered a welcome to the group who showed up to hear the speakers and noted one told him, “It’s about time we did something for dads in Fayette County. It would be nice to see this whole place filled, but it takes time to build momentum.’
Tim Yurcisin, executive director of the Private Industry Council, built on that, saying, “I challenge each of you fathers to be our ambassador, to tell other fathers in the community what’s going on here. We think we can have a successful program.’
Colette Sandzimier, vice president of the Private Industry Council’s Early Childhood Division, said, “We are at ground zero for getting started for this healthy fatherhood initiative.’
Introduced by case manager Tiffany Blaho, Cole and Johnson spoke about the importance of fatherhood and encouraged those attending to be the best fathers they can be.
“I love my dad, and part of why I do this work is because I want people to know that dads can be loved. A lot of people don’t think dads are important,’ said Johnson. “Fatherhood is very important. Our children need us.’
“When I think about fatherhood,’ said Cole, “I think about a commitment that you make.’
Both men talked about divorce and single-parent families, encouraging men who are not with their children’s mothers to stay involved in their children’s lives.
“Fatherhood is a practice. You do it enough, you become good at it but you have to be in the game,’ Johnson said. “We need to be the best parents we can be even if marriages don’t work out.’
The responsibilities of parenting don’t stop as children become older. Johnson noted his 22-year-old daughter is a virgin and he said it’s because he screened the guys who called her when she was a teen-ager.
“You’ve got to monitor your kids,’ Johnson said. “Despite their objections, they still want you to do it.’
Cole said he often wondered as a youth “How do you become a father?’ After an incident in which Cole hurt his brother and his father told him to “Stop acting like a kid,’ Cole – then in elementary school – began paying more attention to the men in his life and decided what being a man meant to him – a good father was among the values on his list.
Sometimes there are setbacks to any goal. Cole remembered his performance the first time he spoke in public as a student at the University of New Mexico to a Little League banquet. He froze and couldn’t speak more than two minutes before sitting down in humiliation. Later, he wrestled with his fears in his dorm room and confessed he had been afraid of many things while growing up – for example, so afraid of the dark that he would never sleep alone. After that first speaking engagement, he went down on his knees and prayed and promised he would speak anytime someone asked him and do it well.
“Fatherhood is that way. Just keep doing it until you do it right,’ Cole said. “Don’t be afraid to say I’m sorry.’
And putting things into perspective, he added, “I was a football player in high school, but I never thought of anyone who played football as a hero. I thought something different. There’s a difference between a celebrity and a hero. A hero is someone you can look up to. It’s important to be heroes in our children’s lives.’
For more information on Dads Matter, call 724-437-2590 or e-mail dadsmatter@privateindustrycouncil.com.