May 27, 2007 4 min read

Dear Readers, I received quite a few reader responses to a letter published a few weeks ago. A guest (Linda) was perturbed that the bride and groom had a “dollar dance” and thought it was a “money grabbing scheme.” I would like to share these responses with you:

Dear Joy,

Regarding the reader who was shocked and dismayed that the couple chose to do a dollar dance (after living together, being gainfully employed, etc.)…. You were quite right in telling them that the dollar dance is more “tradition” than “Money grabbing scheme” in this day and age.

Being of Slovak background, the dollar dance in my family is done to a lively polka. I found that during my wedding (10 years ago in September), it accomplished several things. First, and foremost, it allowed me to visit, albeit briefly, with almost all of my wedding guests.

Brides and grooms know that no matter how hard you try, you may not be able to “mingle” with all of the guests at their tables. Despite my best intentions, I kept getting pulled in different directions, and also encountered those guests that wanted an in depth conversation that you could not get away from. (Plus, with a big family, and 650 guests, it was really hard to make it to everyone. It was nice they came to me.

The dollar dance brings the entire reception to “one area” as people dance and clap and circle around the bride as she dances. This, I’ve found, enables people to visit with others that they may not have even known were in attendance.

Finally, it really allows a big shot of “fun” into the reception itself, which, let’s admit, can be as predictable as every other reception. (Oh, cut the cake. Lemme guess. Yup, time to throw the bouquet. Yup, now it’s the garter). How long will the line be? Will there be a crazy guest that gets back in line four times (happened at mine)? How will the groom get through to “rescue” the bride? And who will “steal” the bride’s shoes as she is whisked out of the hall? (The shoes have to be “ransomed” with a fifth of whiskey per shoe to get them back.)

We have found that bridal dances can become family folk lore for years to come.

Mine, for instance: My brand new husband has a bad back that would not be able to handle jostling through and fighting for me. We used him as a decoy, and while everyone paid attention to him, our best man swooped in, swooped me up, and delivered me to my new hubby.

Most of the people who take part in the dollar dance give exactly that: a dollar. I don’t feel that this is an undue burden on most people … and I’ve never known anyone who did not have a dollar to be turned down to dance with the bride.

Personally, I’ve been to “high society” weddings that don’t have one, and something definitely feels like it is missing. Maria U., Cresson, Pa.

Dear Joy,

This is in response to the Linda and the “dollar dance.”

Our families call it the “Bridal dance” which doesn’t make it sound like a plea for money.

If Linda was so opposed to the dance, then she should have sat down on her dollar and went home that much richer. No one is forced to take part in it and I’m sure, if she hadn’t put any money in the bag, no one would have cared. It’s one last chance to wish the bride well before she starts her new life. Shame on Linda for trying to put a damper on such a wonderful day. Marilyn

Dear Joy,

I’m almost one-half way through my 60’s and never heard the term “dollar dance.” I have been to many weddings over the years, and participated in a lot of “bridal dances.” My understanding is that you pay a dollar for the privilege of dancing with the bride, and the money was to be used for the honeymoon.

I have seen, many times, more than a dollar put in the apron, also, there in usually a “shot” of something given in return, of course this is optional.

I would also say to Linda, participating in this dance is optional. Your answer was fine. Charlie, Ebensburg.

Dear Maria, Marilyn and Charlie,

Thanks for your input. I’m sure many guests and bridal couples will continue with this tradition for many years to come – until the debit card makes the dollar obsolete.

(Maria, did I read right – 650 guests?)

K. Joy Schaeffer is a bridal consultant. You can e-mail her your bridal questions, comments, wedding ideas, or personal wedding experiences to bridejoy@yahoo.com.