Race voting is a black-and-white issue
So I’m watching the Democratic National Convention on television with my good friend Stush Halupkie, when one of those pointy-headed commentators again brings up the point about how Barack Obama will have a tough time connecting with white, working-class voters. “Stush, you’re voting for Obama, right?” I said. “You’ve been a Democratic Party committeeman, sometimes in more than one precinct, practically since Truman beat Dewey. No matter what these guys are saying, you pretty much have to vote for Obama, don’t you?”
“Not really. It is a secret ballot, you know. There’s no way anyone can tell who you vote for. Well, at least since they stopped fixing the voting machines. I think that was back in the 1960s, or maybe the 1970s.”
“Back to my point, Stush. Are you telling me that you might actually vote for John McCain? You, of all people, voting for a Republican? What on Earth would possess you to do that?”
“I don’t like his foreign policy position. Yea, that’s it. Obama’s foreign policy.”
“Stush, you haven’t cared about anyone’s foreign policy position, ever. You thought the Bay of Pigs was a waterfront pork processing operation, and when you first heard the word Taliban, you thought it was a new underarm deodorant. What’s the real reason you won’t vote for Obama?”
“Uh … he doesn’t wear an American flag lapel pin. Yea, that’s it. No lapel pin. He’s not patriotic enough for me. Obama, he should be wearing one, at all times. Even to bed, on his pajama top.”
“I see. And where is your lapel pin, Stush?”
“I don’t got one. But I’m not running for president, either. And even if I had one, I wouldn’t wear it right now, because you never know when you’re going to come across a terrorist. Even worse, a Muslim terrorist. I hear they’re planning to disrupt the first day of deer season. Me and the boys will be ready for that one. A lapel pin would just weight me down, make me less nimble in the woods.”
“You’re probably one of those people who still think Obama’s a Muslim, huh?”
“Of course he’s a Muslim. Everybody knows that. Look at his name: Barack Obama. It’s not like his first name is American, like John or Mike or Tom. And that last name sure isn’t Smith or Jones.”
“Oh, and I suppose ‘Stush Halupkie’ is listed on the Mayflower charter and the Declaration of Independence. What’s the real reason you don’t want to vote for Obama, Stush? Is it because he’s black?”
“For some white people that I know, that might be the reason, yes. But not me. I’m not prejudiced. It’s really all about the lapel pin. Really.”
“Stush, I’m white, you’re white, so let me level with you here. No one should be afraid to vote for Obama just because he’s black. Actually, he’s half black. His mother was white, just like you and me.”
“Really? You know, I’m starting to like the guy a little more. His mother was half white?”
“Yes. And for the longest time – longer than you’ve been a Democrat, which is a very long time – we’ve been asking black folks to vote for white candidates for all kinds of offices. In fact, most of the time, they’ve had no choice but to vote for white candidates. Obama himself has probably voted for at least as many white people as you have. So what he’s asking you to do for him – vote for a presidential candidate with a different skin color -is no different than what he and millions of other African-Americans have been doing for more than a century. Bet you never heard any of them saying, “I like this New Deal proposal, but I’m not voting for Franklin Roosevelt. No way; he’s white.’ Or, ‘John F. Kennedy is a good man, but I can’t bring myself to vote for him. He’s not only white; he’s Catholic, too. If he were only black and a Baptist, I could support him.’ So why wouldn’t you vote for a black man now?”
“Since you put it that way, I suppose you’re right. I shouldn’t expect any less of myself than I expect of other Democrats, be they black or white.”
“Can we turn off the TV now, Stush?”
Paul Sunyak is editorial page editor of the Herald-Standard. You can reach him at 724-439-7577 or at psunyak@heraldstandard.com