Perfect put-down is a lost art
In a previous column, I lamented the celebration of anti-intellectualism in America today. A direct result of this disdain for nuance, intelligence and wit is the loss of the well-crafted, derogatory bon-mot. In other words, a nice classy put-down. We have degenerated from even the inane proletarian put-downs of the “so’s your mother” variety to a classless, racist, sexist, profane stable of expletives and epithets.
We are barraged daily with shock jocks, misogynistic musicians, and pea-brained individuals who think that two-word directives and references to body parts rise to the level of skewering rhetoric. Nightly, we see “news commentators” referring to opponents as pinheads, jerks and dummies. In a famous recent encounter on the Senate floor, we even had the Vice-president of the United States suggest to colleague that he should go try to perform an act that would be physically impossible.
Today’s politicians and public figures need to look to the wit and humor of the greats to add some sophistication to their repertoire. Some of my favorites follow.
“He has all of the virtues I dislike, and none of the vices I admire.” – Winston Churchill
“I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying that I approved.” – Mark Twain
“He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others.” – Samuel Johnson
“They never speak without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge.” – Thomas Reed
“He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up.” – Paul Keating
“He has delusions of adequacy.” – Walter Kerr
“In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily.” – Count Talleyrand
“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.” – Oscar Wilde
“I’ve never killed a man, but I’ve read many obituaries with great pleasure.” – C. Darrow
“He has Van Gogh’s ear for music.” – Billy Wilder
“He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.” – Churchill
And finally my favorite exchange between Churchill and playwright George Bernard Shaw:
“Winston, I am enclosing two tickets to my new play; bring a friend …if you have one.”
“George, cannot possibly attend first night; will come second…if there is one.”
(Anyone wishing to respond to Bret Moore’s columns may do so by emailing their responses to bmoore2005@windstream. net.)