Support groups”So, how was everyone’s week?” and “Did you do something special for yourself?” These are the questions asked by the facilitator of a support group for victims of domestic violence.
“So, how was everyone’s week?” and “Did you do something special for yourself?” These are the questions asked by the facilitator of a support group for victims of domestic violence. Many times, the answer to the first question is “not good” and most of the time the answer to the second question is “no.” They are then gently reminded that they need to do something for themselves, even if it is just relaxing in a hot bubble bath or painting their nails.
For many people, relaxing in a bubble bath or painting their fingernails is not something that is given much thought. But victims of domestic violence are not always focused on what gives them pleasure. They are more focused on the pain and turmoil that exist in their lives and the lives of their children.
However, they must learn that if they don’t take care of themselves they won’t be able to care for others. For example, when traveling by air the flight attendants give instructions as to what to do if the aircraft were to lose pressure and the oxygen masks were to drop down. If a woman is traveling with a small child and the masks drop down, her instinct is to help the child first.
However, she should actually help herself first because if she can’t breathe, then she is unable to help her children.
This philosophy of taking care of yourself first can also be applied to victims of domestic violence.
The women coming to support group may not take the time to relax in a nice hot bubble bath, or paint their nails, but the one thing that they do for themselves is come to group.
At group they know they are with others who are currently going through or have experienced domestic violence. They know at group they will receive understanding, compassion and guidance. Some members are victims of physical abuse, others are victims of emotional abuse. Some have taken legal actions against their abuser, others have not.
Many people mistakenly believe that in order to be considered a victim of domestic violence they must have received some type of injury.
Pushes and shoves don’t always leave bruises and emotional abuse leaves scars that are unseen by others, but a lack of marks doesn’t make someone any less of a victim. Neither does the fact that many victims choose to not take any action against their abuser.
Victims of domestic violence would discuss what is going on in their lives if they knew that they had a safe, confidential place to do so. This is where Greene County Women’s Center enters the picture. All of our services are free and confidential. We do not force anyone to take any action but we do encourage victims to come to support group.
Group provides a safe, confidential forum where victims can come together and discuss their own problems, gain insight from other members of the group and offer help to those that may be in a similar situation. Each member of the group is required to sign a confidentiality statement agreeing that what is said in group is not to be discussed outside of the group.
If you or someone you know is a victim of physical, sexual, emotional or economic domestic violence please consider coming to support group. Starting July 7, group will be meeting on Mondays.
Until then, group meets on Wednesday. For more information, please call Greene County Women’s Center at 724-852-2463 or stop in the office at 43 North Morgan Street in Waynesburg.
Remember, if you are a victim of domestic violence, you do not have to suffer alone.