Grief center helps deal with loss
After her grandfather died, Madison Cochran of Uniontown had trouble coping. “She had grief bursts,” said her mother, Becky Cochran. “She would just throw herself on the bed and cry. She cut her hair.”
A retired sales manager for Mr. and Mrs. T’s Cocktail Mixes, Carl Salutric died at age 72 from gallbladder cancer in July 2008. His death came about six months after the death of a close family friend from a heart attack. It proved too much for 8-year-old Madison Cochran, who didn’t know how to deal with her feelings.
Officials at Robert W. Clark Elementary School in the Laurel Highlands School District suggested the family turn to Our Caring Corner, a grief center that was just opening its doors at the East End United Community Center in Uniontown.
“We are all blessed to be loved and, unfortunately, we feel the loss when someone we love dies,” said Rosemary Hardy, program manager.
Our Caring Corner can offer help.
Our Caring Corner is based on the model of the Caring Place grief center, located in Pittsburgh.
It is a child-based, family-focused, peer-support grief program. There is no counseling or therapy provided, but it is a safe place where grieving children and their parents or guardians can come together and talk about their feelings and memories in an atmosphere of acceptance. And there is no time frame. Families can come no matter when they experienced their loss.
Services to Our Caring Corner are offered free to families in Fayette and Greene counties. The Highmark Healthy High 5, an initiative of the Highmark Foundation, is providing funding for the program. The mission statement for Our Caring Corner is to “improve the lives of grieving children, adolescents and their families by providing support, education and community outreach in a world where grief knows no social, economic, racial or other boundaries.”
Our Caring Corner is especially sensitive to the needs of children and youths, who find themselves trying to deal with grief while sitting through a school day or realize they are suddenly different from their friends.
And this month, Our Caring Corner is calling attention to the needs of children as Thursday marks the observance of Children’s Grief Awareness Day. Area schools will participate. People are being asked to wear blue to show support for friends and classmates who have experienced the death of a loved one.
Linda O’Keefe, direct service coordinator for Our Caring Corner, released the following statistics from the 1990 U.S. Census.
One in 20 children has a parent die before they graduate from high school. One out of 20 children younger than the age of 15 has lost one or both parents to death.
It’s estimated that at any given time in the average classroom, there are at least two students grieving the death of a loved one. One in seven children will have an immediate family member (mother, father, sibling, grandparent) die by age 10. An estimated 73,000 children die each year, with 83 percent having surviving siblings. Long-term denial of death and avoidance of grief is unhealthy and may resurface later as more severe problems, such as truancy or drug use.
Becky Cochran, an X-ray technologist at Uniontown Hospital, brought her family to Our Caring Corner’s first session in the fall of 2008, including her daughter, Madison Cochran, now 9 and a fourth-grade student at Clark Elementary; her son, Blaine Salutric, 20, who is planning to enter the military; and her mother Leah Salutric, who is retired from the Herald-Standard.
Becky Cochran said, “I was glad we were referred here because I didn’t know how to deal with what Madison was going through.”
Our Caring Corner offers 10-week sessions that meet from 6 to 8 p.m. on Mondays. The format remains the same: families arrive and are greeted by volunteers. Everyone goes into the community room where they share a meal together and fellowship as they play games. They say the Caring Corner pledge: “Lean on me, share your story with me, special friends we’ll always be.”
The participants then mix into age-appropriate groups for team-building and memory-sharing activities before meeting back in the community center again for a closing ritual. The activities include creating a quilt square in memory of the loved one that is finished by volunteer quilters to be a keepsake. The families later have a dedication ceremony of their squares.
In addition, Our Caring Corner offers an annual memorial service. The next will be held at 6 p.m. Wednesday, Dec. 2, with all families invited back to participate.
Madison Cochran and her family found relief at Our Corner. She recently talked about her experience, including creating a memory box for her grandfather.
“I put in pictures of him holding me,” she said.
Blaine Salutric said, “I’m not really one to talk about my feelings but it’s easier with kids my age than talking with a bunch of adults.”
Leah Salutric said, “You felt you weren’t by yourself because we were with other adults and shared their experiences.”
The family encourages others in need to visit Our Caring Corner.
Becky Cochran said, “It was a comfort to be here.”
Our Caring Corner will offer a new session that will begin on Monday. For more information about Our Caring Corner, call 724-437-1660.