Who?s Helping Who? Part 2
Addie is my 3 year old. She takes more after my side of the family than Mia, who is like her dad. Addie is the kind of person that is often content playing by herself and only allows certain people to play with her, even when the house is filled with other children. Those that she does let into her little world, she is deeply attatched to and probably relies a bit too heavily on them for her own security. Since her personality and manurisms are like that of my mom, needless to say Grandma is her best friend. My Mom and Addie are best pals who generally spend a lot of time just playing together?until Mom gets depressed. When my mom begins to suffer in the depressed phase of her bipolar, Addie is completely undone. If Grandma talks to her, Addie screams. If Grandma asks her a question, Addie replies, ?I don?t like you!? Addie avoids Grandma during these times at all costs. Regardless how many times I talk to her about the fact that it is not Grandma?s fault, that this is who God made her and that she must be kind and help Grandma, her response is still the same. Addie simply cannot get past the fact that her best friend is acting in a way that she does not understand?and so she absolutely refuses to associate with her because of her insecurity and fear.
This behavior causes Mom even more saddness. ?My own granddaughter doesn?t like me. I?m a horrible person. Why won?t she just talk to me? Why is she so afraid of me?? These questions are not easily answered when the one asking is not truely able to ?hear? the answers due to her own inablity to understand even her own actions. I do my best to reconcile these two to one another, but neither of them is in a place emotionally to understand the truth or the cause for the other?s unreasonable actions toward them. I have faith that they will be best friends again, though, because of their deep love for one another. They are so much alike that when their emotions return to normal, they will be inseparable.
I wholeheartedly believe God uses these kinds of trials in our everyday life to show us ourselves and His ways. Again, yesterday, as this scenerio played out (over and over), I know God was saying, ?That?s you.? How many times I ask the Lord, ?Why don?t my own sisters and brothers like me? Why won?t they just talk to me? I must be a bad Christian. I don?t understand why they won?t be my friend like before.? I sound just like Mom. I fail to see how my personality scares people and feeds their insecurity. I don?t take into consideration the maturity level of those I selfishly miss.
One day, Addie (hopefully) will likely be kind and learn how to love Grandma even when she is acting in a way that she can?t understand -a way that feels unfamiliar and scary to her ?I will only allow certain people to know me because I am scared? comfort zone? when she is a few years older and has matured emotionally. Right now, though, she only screams. She only says, ?I don?t like you.? when Grandma speaks kindly to her. Her insecurity and immaturity will not allow a close relationship. Grandma must accept that and stop talking to her constantly if peace is to reign in our house. God showed me through this situation that I must be patient with those who are younger in the faith and insecure about their relationship with me?they will grow in time and understand that we are all different. I pray the Lord keeps the peace here today, and in your life as well.